Melissa Lapin (00:07.926)
Hey everybody, welcome to this episode of, I forgot what my own podcast was called just then. After the Well. And today I have a new friend again, with School of Kingdom, Melody Dallern, she lives in Amarillo, Texas. And I'm excited about this because I like literally don't know anything about Melody and I'm excited to hear her story and
what she's doing. She is what I do know from Facebook stalking is that Melody is CEO of the Identity Academy. She is an author of a book called Kingdom Identity, Rediscover Your Identity and Align Your Vision. And I will let Melody continue from here introducing herself because she knows herself better than I do.
Melody Dowlearn (01:02.151)
Okay, Melissa, thank you for that great intro. You know that, like that's what I do. I help individuals rediscover their identity in a line with their vision. Just connecting the dots between identity and the dream of your heart. So I do that in a very practical way for both students and clients, men and women, all ages, all backgrounds. So yeah, that's my day job.
Melissa Lapin (01:05.55)
I told you man, I just wing it.
Melissa Lapin (01:30.222)
Cool, what's your night job?
Melody Dowlearn (01:33.008)
Wow, you want to talk about that? It's real exciting. I make dinner and clean the kitchen and sweep up the dog hair. So now you know, I didn't want to leave anyone hanging on that note.
Melissa Lapin (01:34.74)
Ah, that's the moneymaker.
Melissa Lapin (01:45.354)
Ah, that's awesome. So, um, I, I'm interested in your story because I think there's some, I like, I literally know nothing about you. Um, it's just, you know, through some of the things that you post on social media and stuff, but I really felt that there's, there's a nugget in your story. That is going to be transformational for some of the listeners.
male and female, which we talked about before we got on is like, don't stereotype us, we have to be able to speak to men and women, not just women. But so after the well is, you know, about the woman at the well, and when she met Jesus, one of the first things that she identified was, okay, this is me, this is you, you know, like, I'm Samaritan, you're a Jew, what do you want?
Melody Dowlearn (02:22.279)
That's right.
Melissa Lapin (02:41.886)
then Jesus talked and she's like, okay, it's obvious, you know, who I am. So thinking back in your life, when do you think you had your well moment? When was it that you began to understand or get a revelation of Christ knowing you? Like, okay, he's real. He's not my grandma's Jesus. He's like my Jesus.
Melody Dowlearn (03:11.011)
Right, right. Well, you know, I thought I knew I was going to say and then you said that. I was like, oh, well, okay. Well let me frame this up. Do I have permission to do that? Okay. Well, my nickname is Melody Mouth and so I'm going to be very concise. But, right, like I got that in kindergarten, it's okay.
Melissa Lapin (03:15.758)
Ha ha ha.
Melissa Lapin (03:21.297)
YouTube, this is your podcast.
Melissa Lapin (03:28.106)
Sorry. I love that.
Melody Dowlearn (03:32.431)
Yeah, I've grown into it. So as a child, I always would encounter the Lord. I didn't really know that was special. I just was me and God, right? So I had a lot of encounters.
Melissa Lapin (03:44.866)
So what do you mean by that? What do you mean by encounters? As a child, what did that look like to you?
Melody Dowlearn (03:48.155)
Um, okay. So as a child, that would be like God speaking to me at night, always aware of his presence, right? Interactions between where he would just drop things into my heart. And I just knew he was in the room with me and I knew who it was. Like no one ever had to explain to me or no one ever had to, you know, or I guess my experience was not like I gave my heart to the Lord at age 11, I can remember being two and three and just always being with the Lord. Okay. So.
Melissa Lapin (03:55.684)
Okay.
Melissa Lapin (04:16.269)
Wow, okay. Did you have language for that? I mean, did you grow up in it? Okay, so you didn't grow up in like a Christian home.
Melody Dowlearn (04:19.904)
No.
Well, I did, but okay, so I grew up, yeah, I grew up in a Pentecostal church, somewhat religious home and background, all great, but there the encounters were more like power and demonstration as you would expect in a Pentecostal background. But there was not much to speaking to children having like one-on-one alone encounters with the Lord, right? So, but I knew what I had was true. Okay, so.
Melissa Lapin (04:25.11)
They didn't talk about that.
Okay.
Melissa Lapin (04:40.494)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (04:46.42)
Okay.
Melody Dowlearn (04:51.547)
fast forward through my, you know, sweet little childhood life. Um, and I'm now a rebellious teenager pushing back against all of that kind of religious, you know, rules, but lack of love. And I'm not necessarily talking about my parents. It's just, it's just a whole thing. Like I love my parents. It's just, it's just an atmosphere. It was a climate. And, um, so by the time I'm 19, I am pregnant, married and divorced. Like I hold the record in my family in case you are wondering.
Melissa Lapin (05:21.182)
Okay, you're an achiever.
Melody Dowlearn (05:21.883)
Right. So, right. So, yeah, I am a high achiever. So we go from one extreme to the other, about as far as you can go on the spectrum to I walked with the Lord, I knew the Lord, and to I'm over here now in no man's land and I am very much alone. I feel alone, but I am alone and there's not many 19-year-olds driving a minivan, you know?
Melissa Lapin (05:52.426)
not on purpose.
Melody Dowlearn (05:53.619)
No, not my choice. And so her, I'm this young single mom, putting myself through college, working a job, and feeling like my life had truly ended because I'm a visionary and I've always seen clearly for my life, always. But not then.
Melissa Lapin (06:07.542)
Well, but also too, that's what the world puts on us. You know, if you don't have the life that looks good and is perfect, especially being young and young mom and single, you know, that's put on you oh, your life is over, now you gotta do this. You can't do this because you gotta raise a kid. You know, and it's the same thing with the woman at the well. You know, she was married five times. She had five husbands.
It's never said one time what happened to those husbands. Right? Not one time do we know in history what, but, and yet every message that you hear about her is that she was a prostitute, she was all of these things. And you're like, show me in scripture, you know? But we did the same thing. We see somebody's outward appearance, we automatically assume, and then we put all of these labels. So I can't imagine the labels that you had on you.
Melody Dowlearn (07:06.015)
Oh, a ton. You know, and I'm so glad you spoke to that. And my parents were very supportive. It was not them, but the church I was in, it was a bad situation. And so, yes, I had so many labels on me. I had, you know, people from the church calling me, telling me I should stay with my husband, even though he was abusive and not faithful, you know? And then the next thing was, well, you have to find a husband. That's your next goal in life. You know, I'm like, no, I'm going to college. I'm not going to be a statistic.
Melissa Lapin (07:06.398)
as a 19 year old.
Melissa Lapin (07:31.851)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (07:34.499)
And so there was so much shame, there was so much weight, there was so much guilt, there was so much humiliations. I mean, I can't even, I could write a volume on what I just felt and processed in those three years that led to an eating disorder that I also kept to myself that I fought alone for about five years before I got help. And so it was just a very lonely time. And I still had a lot of religious kind of baggage and wrong theology in my lens,
Melissa Lapin (07:41.14)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (08:04.247)
at the father was broken and cracked, right? And fogged now with experience and shame and disappointment and failure. And so I was lost. I was just out there wondering with no compass, grieving what I had forfeited, right? Because it was all over. And I was just out there thriving. I think, and I know, what kept me going at that point was my son. That's really what got me up in the morning and out the door, was him. And soā€¦
That was the back story. Right? So there comes a point, and I remember it specifically, it was February 4th, 2002. It was two o'clock in the morning. Jesus walked into my bedroom, called me by name out of a deep sleep, and prophesied Jeremiah 1 to me. It shifted my entire life. It was a moment. It was the craziest encounter I had ever had. I was at the lowest point in my life in another. You would think.
Melissa Lapin (08:48.91)
Come on.
Melody Dowlearn (09:00.431)
You know, you come out of one broken, unhealthy relationship that you wouldn't do that again. We understand now, you know, broken people make broken choices. So I'm not in a great place. Other than I graduated from college, it wasn't in a great place, but I think Jesus looked at my dumpster fire of a life and said, enough. Like it's time for intervention. We've been sending you clues from heaven. We've been trying to drop. You're not tracking with us, Melody. It's not over. This is not your life.
Melissa Lapin (09:06.507)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (09:29.155)
I have things for you to do. So I'm just gonna come on into your apartment there in Valley Ranch, Texas, and I'm gonna call you out of your slumber. I'm calling you by name. And it was because he called me by name. The audible voice of God waking you up in the morning and the presence of Jesus is right there in front of you. You can't, like, I even get chills today because it was, that turned my life around. I met my husband of today six months later.
Melissa Lapin (09:39.15)
Come on.
Melody Dowlearn (09:58.191)
completely changed, I mean, my whole life took on a different trajectory. And I truly believe that moment got me where I am today.
Melissa Lapin (10:05.826)
That's really cool. Yeah, I mean, well, that's totally correlates with the woman at the well, because in any history, she didn't have a name. She's literally the woman, even in the scripture, she is the woman at the well, until Jesus encountered her. And it says the only thing I could find anywhere and this was in...
some women's history archives for Samaritan women's studies. I mean, like, I've been digging at this story for several years now, but she got a name only at baptism given to her by the disciples. And that's where fettini comes from, and it means light, you know? And so, Jesus met her at the well doing an everyday thing.
Melody Dowlearn (10:53.895)
Come on, this is good.
Melissa Lapin (11:00.65)
and Jesus met you sleeping in an everyday thing. And look what you're doing now with that. So in, you know, you said your son was the reason that got you up. So how, what did your everyday, what Jesus looked like? Cause I don't hear that you turned your back on him or, you know, got mad at Jesus or anything like that. But so was, was it just kinda like an.
Melody Dowlearn (11:22.97)
No.
Melissa Lapin (11:28.646)
your faith became kind of a non-event kind of thing? Or...
Melody Dowlearn (11:31.939)
You know, I was still like going through the motions because I was caught, right? You go to church on Sunday and I knew my, you know, and so, but I didn't have a community around me that was healthy, that was faith-based, which is I had no healthy community. I was doing it by myself. I mean, when you're 19, 20, 21 and you're in college, most of those people aren't single moms, you know, and there just wasn't resources then. And, you know, I was still in that mindset, right? That this is the bed you made, so you lie in it.
Melissa Lapin (11:34.816)
Okay.
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (11:41.162)
Wow, which is important. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (11:53.298)
Right. Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (12:02.243)
you know, God helps those who help themselves, all those cliches that we grew up with, all the work. And so I was gonna pull myself out of it by my hard work and I was gonna show everybody that I could do this. And so that was my focus. And it's not that I didn't have a relationship. I just, I felt far away from him, which was a deception. He was with me, but because of what I had done, because of the situation I had created,
Melissa Lapin (12:05.138)
All the work things, yeah.
Melissa Lapin (12:24.01)
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (12:31.059)
I had separated us and then when I fixed it all, then it was going to repair the relationship. So I couldn't approach him until I got my life back together. But I was so overwhelmed with the dysfunction that I was still making unhealthy choices, which still caused me to believe that I was separated from God who loved me, who was never more than a step away, right? And yet I didn't have that understanding or that awareness then.
Melissa Lapin (12:50.807)
right?
Melissa Lapin (12:57.17)
So when was the other moment where you got that awareness that like, oh, you didn't go anywhere?
Melody Dowlearn (13:04.651)
It was, it was, well, it was that night, obviously, or that night that Jesus walked in. And I remember clearly, I didn't go back to bed because he gave me like some instructions in that night, in that evening. And I won't go into all of that, but it was, there were some things that he wanted me to do just as prophetic acts, which is nothing that had ever crossed my mind until that night. Like, I want you to take this out. I was going and just chunking things in the dumpster. And so out there, I will never forget.
Melissa Lapin (13:31.318)
Hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (13:34.723)
And I didn't sleep. I was getting up to go to work the next morning. I dropped my son off at school because there was an elementary school by our house and he was in kindergarten. And I'm driving to work and there was this radio program in Dallas. It was KCBI. It was an AM state. For some reason, I'm listening to this. And this man tells a story about this little girl who has a string of plastic pearls in her hand, really tight.
and her dad's trying to get the pearls out of her hand, but she will not open her hand. And he finally says, look, I have something better for you. So she gives him the little plastic string of pearls and the father takes them and he puts a string of real pearls. He takes the counterfeit and he puts the authentic thing in her hand. And that just confirmed, because I was even doubting as the sun came up and the night went away and I'm back in my car going to my job, you would think like,
It's almost like a dream. Did that really happen? You start questioning, that's amazing, but wait, did I dream that? No. And then when that happened, when I heard that, it just kind of confirmed. No melody. Yeah, I'm trying to take the nonsense out of your hand, the junk out of you, the thing you're holding so tightly to, the guilt, the shame. Let me put something real in your hand. And then we were back together like we always had been. It was like...
We just picked up like old friends do, you know? Like you call an old friend that, you know, you ran with back in the day and it's, it's no problem having a conversation with them. And so I began to, and then it was really interesting because he began to bring people. This was when you see the pattern of people starting to pick back up in my life is after that encounter and coming back into that place and that awareness. And it's just, it's just grown since then. Was there a journey? Was there a process?
Melissa Lapin (14:57.531)
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (15:24.475)
Did I need a lot of healing? Was I still a healthy person? Absolutely not. Did I cause a lot of damage? Absolutely yes. But there was, I was moving up instead of just wallowing, you know, in my own pix die that I had created.
Melissa Lapin (15:39.909)
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Somebody, one of my friends, Sean, do you know Shawna from SOK? Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (15:49.223)
Oh yeah, Fougeois, I call her Fougie. Shawna Fou, no, not Fougero, Fougero. No, the other side.
Melissa Lapin (15:56.166)
No, not that Shawna. She's got gray curly hair. Yeah, Shawna. Yeah. Dulce. I can't even say her last name. She was talking about that. We were sharing. And you can go back and listen to the podcast that I did with her because I think we got three or four episodes out of our conversation. Fair though, she stayed for like a whole weekend. And so we had time to, we recorded like
Melody Dowlearn (16:02.035)
Oh yes, yes.
Melissa Lapin (16:25.67)
one here and two sitting somewhere. But she talked about it like the she's got so much knowledge and wisdom. She just blows my mind every time I have a conversation with her because she's she is a learner and a studier. So she knows all of these things. And she was talking about studying one time, the whole phrase and concept of glory to glory. And it's like,
a tornado when you look at it in the description, it's like active and you're spinning instead of spiraling out of control. Tornadoes are like very organized, you know, and they're very, and it's just around and you learn something and you step up. We think glory to glory and learning is goes, you know, I'm going from two to Mach 12. Yeah, like no.
Melody Dowlearn (17:25.316)
No, you're not.
Melissa Lapin (17:26.762)
You know, that's a disservice I think we do to ourselves. And a lot of that is the church's fault because when, you know, you just gotta have faith. Okay, well I have faith. I believe that this can happen, but what does that look like? Why are you still doing that? Or, you know, people holding themselves at gunpoint because they sinned again. I'm like, well, it's a pattern. You've done this for 45 years. Did you really think you could stop overnight?
there are those stories where people quit drugs and have no desires or whatever, good for you. But if you've been a narcissist and controlling people is a hard thing for you, there's going to be a pattern. There's going to be a structure that you've got to dismantle. And each level of that dismantling comes through changing of a mindset. So get me preaching on that.
Melody Dowlearn (18:24.758)
Ha ha ha!
Melissa Lapin (18:25.366)
But so bringing in community, did, were there people that you could share that vision with or share that encounter?
Melody Dowlearn (18:37.155)
You know, there really wasn't the, as I think about this, the people that I had at the time to share it with were in a place where they would have understood that. So I kept that to myself. But really it was honestly when I met my husband six months later, we had such a friendship and he was a person that I could share with and he was a person and he had no idea what I was talking about. But we had very different backgrounds. I think he was first United Methodist. We still laugh about, there's a whole nother podcast. But anyway.
Melissa Lapin (18:39.327)
Okay.
Melody Dowlearn (19:07.655)
But it just, it made me, the first thing I did was look at the unhealthy people, the people who were dragging me down, like the people who wanted, so the first thing there was a lot of pruning. There was a lot of moving people out of my path. And so I did that for a while and then healthy people started to show up. And you know, I found a healthy church community and I really began to understand that being a lone wolf.
Melissa Lapin (19:20.831)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (19:34.147)
and hiding away was not what God wanted for my life. And it wasn't like, look, it wasn't like I started running with people the next, just like you said, the awareness takes a while, right? Just being aware of who is not for you and who needs to go, that takes, that's a process. And I'm, you know, I'm a single mom and I'm working a job and I got a lot going on. So this is a very slow process, right? Cause there's only so much time you can give to those matters. But, you know, over the, you know, even when I got married,
Melissa Lapin (19:45.07)
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (20:02.735)
we had a work thing, there's baggage, right? It's a process. You know, like you don't just go like from A, like you said to Mach 20, it is A, A plus, B minus, B maybe, because God can't change us that fast because we couldn't handle it. It would be too much to our system. It would blow us up, you know? So he has to, and he also, I think wants us to grab what he's trying to give us because, you know, I always say,
Melissa Lapin (20:05.697)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (20:14.209)
Right?
Melissa Lapin (20:20.238)
Right. Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (20:31.111)
The process is a prequisite for purpose. And if you really want to fully walk in purpose, you cannot abort the process because it's in the process, right, that you learn. It's in the process that you grow, that you're expanded, that your capacity and your bandwidth are elevated to the next level and you only get that in the process. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (20:39.274)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (20:49.386)
Yeah, which is a lot of people try to avoid that because nobody likes the process because a lot of times there's pain in the process. It's hard. You have to be intentional, which a lot of people just I have found just don't want to be intentional. It's easier just to stay quote broken or dysfunctional or just jacked up in a shitty person, you know, versus man. If
maybe I would have more friends if I didn't do xyz, you know? But it's easier to say, well, this is how I am, you're just gonna have to deal with it, you know? Because so many people say that, well, this is how God made me and we're like, but did he though? Pretty sure that's not
Melody Dowlearn (21:35.035)
But did he though?
Melody Dowlearn (21:40.232)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (21:49.206)
just fail, you know, and get back up and admit things and go, well, you know what? Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that. Thanks for not unfriending me, you know, kind of thing. I think it's cool. And I just it just crossed my mind that
Melody Dowlearn (22:02.463)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (22:07.374)
I think it was, I mean, I know that it was a gift to you that a good part of your healing came through a healthy male figure, i.e. your husband. You know?
Melody Dowlearn (22:17.551)
Yes, absolutely. You know, and I still think about that today because he is, he was my friend. He wasn't just like, you know, Mr. Romeo and we had such a friend connection and he is such a great source of wisdom and he is so my opposite. Like God was just so good in finding him. Like God's a good spouse hunter. Actually, my grandma actually set us up so she would probably take credit over God for that.
Melissa Lapin (22:37.454)
Mm-hmm. Imagine that. Ha ha ha.
Melissa Lapin (22:44.644)
Grandma's art god, aren't they?
Melody Dowlearn (22:46.831)
grandma, I am not that desperate. I mean, like I'm good, you know, no matchmaking services. Please grandma, stay out. But she, um, she, um, persisted and she intervened and she did her own thing as my grandma would do. And so, yeah, the rest was history. But you know, yeah, I, God just knows what he's doing. And it's so funny how sometimes the thing that hurt you is the thing that he'll use to bring healing through, but you only get that if you're in a place to receive and you can see and understand and have the awareness of what he's doing.
Melissa Lapin (23:10.06)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (23:16.455)
part of me could have been like, no. I mean, honestly, I'm gonna be really raw here. Can't believe I'm gonna say this. On our first date, which my grandma set up, which I was totally ticked about, I told him, I said, look, I'm jaded, I'm cynical. Like, this is what I told the guy. You know, I said, look, I don't have time to jack around. I don't do one year relationships anymore. I have a son, three dates, that's about all it takes. And I know if you're it or not. And he just looked at me like, okay.
Melissa Lapin (23:18.391)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (23:21.698)
Please do.
Melissa Lapin (23:45.441)
Yeah
Melody Dowlearn (23:46.475)
Well, thanks for the disclaimer. So would you like an appetizer?" And I remember when the words came out of my mouth, I could feel like in that moment there was just a moment where I was like, I think God did this and I think I should shut my mouth and I think I should just soften my heart. Like it was just this knowing that just shut your pie hole melody. Like let God help you and just get out of his way and just see where this goes.
And yeah, and then we were engaged six months later. So yeah.
Melissa Lapin (24:20.558)
That's cool. Yeah, you know, and sometimes, and what I hear in that is sometimes we just need to hear things come out of our own mouth before they're changed to happen. Because like you said that, you're just like, what the hell? What? Ah, you know?
Melody Dowlearn (24:32.97)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (24:37.455)
I can't believe I just, I mean, I can't, it's true, but I shouldn't have said that. Like filter, you know, I'm like, I bought this dress for this date. I remember my dad asking me, you don't have money to spend on a dress. And I said, it's an investment. He said, okay, I can't argue with that. And I'm thinking you bought this dress and you're going to ruin it, but what are you ruining? Why am I here? Like it was a weird moment to go on like a old fashioned date for me because it's the guys.
Melissa Lapin (24:41.3)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (24:59.301)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (25:04.547)
between the first husband and my husband, we're just all losers. I mean, God loves them and they just weren't on their path to wholeness and healing. Neither was I, you know, like attracts like. So God, I think this is why Jesus came into my bedroom. He was like, hey, Scott's over here waiting on you. And so we need to like, come on, I'm trying to help the guy out. He's praying really hard. Melody, let's get you on your way. So I don't know, I don't know what was happening, but.
Melissa Lapin (25:11.526)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (25:16.158)
Yeah, it's true, because it's easier that way.
Melody Dowlearn (25:34.055)
You're right. He was really the first person who really helped me, who I was really able to be vulnerable with, raw with, real with. He didn't run away. He didn't flinch. He didn't condemn me. He didn't shame me. He just listened and it was okay. It was no big deal.
Melissa Lapin (25:50.402)
That must be a Scott thing, because my husband's name's Scott and we've been married coming up on 34 years and I still wonder why. Because I would have left me two years into this marriage. Whew. That man.
Melody Dowlearn (25:59.663)
God, they're good guys.
Melody Dowlearn (26:06.471)
Same. I know, sometimes I don't know why God doesn't run away from me, much less Scott.
Melissa Lapin (26:12.931)
right? It's like, God, are you sure?
Melody Dowlearn (26:16.099)
Yeah, yeah, are you sure? No, so it was, but that encounter, that encounter was a catalyst that changed the trajectory of my life. That actually put me back on the path that I was on, but I had veered off of, you know? And that's what's so cool. It doesn't matter if we take a wrong turn, a left or right, a right, left, and we're like 80 miles, we're four nations away, we're on the other side of the planet, God's like, I can get you right back on in a moment.
Melissa Lapin (26:24.375)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (26:35.959)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (26:44.744)
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (26:45.371)
And that's what happened right back on my path.
Melissa Lapin (26:47.302)
Yeah, I mean, that's all through the Psalms, you know, David, whining and complaining two sentences and then a third sense, but God, you're awesome. Where can I go that you're not there? You know, and like we can we can run, we can try to run and really, I ultimately don't think we're running from God. I think we're running from our own self.
Melody Dowlearn (26:58.776)
Hahaha.
Melissa Lapin (27:11.806)
like accountability and knowledge and self understanding and just ourselves because we have the false idea that we have to fix us. And that trips everyone up every time. And that's why we walk around in shame and the guilt in crappy relationships and you know, just one shit show after another. Because
The church tells us that we have to have the faith, you know, the penal substitutionary theory and it's like we have to clean ourselves up because God needs clean and he can't see this and he can't look on that and all of this garbage that we're taught about God that, like, I don't know. That's why I think that's why a lot of people don't even bother.
with Christianity because it's like Christians can't do it. So, you know, why am I going to start trying to be a part of this? Oh, and that's the thing. Would I go back like my first? My first encounters with church, right, were my dad died when I was 15. And I don't know who these people were, but they showed up in our life. I think they were just like friends of my mom. And they started taking us to this method. I think it was a Methodist church, right?
The same people I was selling weed to on Friday night were the same people at church on Sunday. And I'm like, why am I going to play this game? Why am I going to try to fit in to this place when I just, I've never been one for hypocrisy.
Melody Dowlearn (28:50.307)
No, but to go back to your point to what you were saying, when we believe that God can't look upon sin and my life is sin, right? So that communicates to me, well, I'm responsible to clean myself up, put myself back together, fix myself so that I can be in right standing with God. And I think when your life is a dumpster fire, or like in my case, I felt so removed from God because of the choices I had made that in my present, there was no wayā€¦
Melissa Lapin (28:58.659)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (29:03.434)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (29:07.447)
Uh huh.
Melody Dowlearn (29:20.255)
Like that kind of work was overwhelming to me because the reality in my life was overwhelming. So it was all overwhelming. It's like Tetris. It just starts stacking up and it's just this game over. And I think people just freeze when they don't realize how good God is and that, you know, He loves you and He never leaves you. You leave Him because of the deception that your sin separates you. And so I just, I'm sad when I look back because I missed a lot of time, but I'm also glad
Melissa Lapin (29:20.782)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (29:27.425)
Uh huh.
Melissa Lapin (29:38.882)
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (29:47.727)
because God has redeemed that and he's given me a story and so I can tell other people, you're gonna be okay.
Melissa Lapin (29:52.074)
Yeah, yeah. Well, the woman at the well, the guy she was living with wasn't her husband. So I mean, like after you think five marriages, and we don't know if they ended up in divorce or death or, or whatever. And in the Samaritan community, divorce was legal, unlike the Jewish community, you know, and so we'd have no idea and
Melody Dowlearn (29:57.231)
Yes. Right.
Melissa Lapin (30:18.07)
Yeah, at some point, even she was she's like, Oh, screw it all. Why am I going to bother going through all of that? Let me just live with this guy. You know, we don't know how old she was. We don't know anything about her journey. But there is always just beautiful redemption. When we stop and just acknowledge, okay, God,
Melody Dowlearn (30:26.851)
Yeah, yeah, right.
Melissa Lapin (30:46.262)
I'm not doing something right here. And it's probably simply my thought process. I mean, because a lot of the majority of the people, I mean, they're thinking, I mean, like, we shouldn't go around killing people. I mean, that's a different kind of forgiveness, I think, you know, but for the average person, the average housewife's trying to do the best she can as mom and keeping our house clean and being a good wife and grocery shopping and all the things.
Melody Dowlearn (30:48.815)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (30:53.359)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (31:02.168)
Right, right.
Melissa Lapin (31:15.33)
still feels completely worthless a lot of the time. Like she's not, man, she's like, I can't, I have such a hard time reconciling how the church got so far off the gospel. You know, and it was just because of one man, thank you, John Calvin, we all know that, but you know, just the, like, people.
Listeners if you're listening to this podcast
stop whatever you're doing if you can, and just sit with God and just say, God, what do you think about me? And honestly listen to what he says. And if he tells you that he loves you and that you're doing a great job for the love of God, just believe it. Because it is as simple as that. We make it so hard to be good.
Melody Dowlearn (32:15.779)
Right, right. No, no, it's true. And I, you know, we, you know, Ephesians 1, 4 says, he chose us in him before the foundations of the world. And that verb chose, if you go back and you do a word study, he dreamed us up, he thought us up, he thought us into existence. And so your absolute origin is in the heart of a good father who loves you. Your dream is his dream. Your birth parents are just the people who were chosen to steward you into the earth realm.
Melissa Lapin (32:17.142)
get me preaching again. I get frustrated.
Melody Dowlearn (32:44.079)
but that's not your point of origin. You know, and everybody talks about, I go a lot with clients and students into their timeline, into their story, into their history. I would do a lot of digging and searching for clues and data so people can begin to see their own framework with their own eyes, right? But that's different than a prophetic word because when you see it for yourself, then you truly, your mind can get on board with what your spirit has always caught because your spirit was birthed in the heart of the father, your body and your soul were created.
Melissa Lapin (32:52.494)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (33:04.897)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (33:11.234)
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (33:11.535)
So a lot of times your body and your soul aren't tracking with your spirit because your spirit knows and your mind says, well, I can't reason that, I can't justify that, I can't make sense of that. Everybody around me says that's valid, that's false, that's invalid or that's false and so I can't get on board. But when you realize your spirit remembers, your spirit is ancient, your spirit has been tracking with the father since before the beginning of time, your spirit is outside of time. So when your spirit is speaking, your brain, you have to quiet the brain.
Melissa Lapin (33:17.998)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (33:29.298)
Mm-hmm. Come on.
Come on.
Melody Dowlearn (33:40.007)
sit in that place of your spirit in communion with Holy Spirit. You can believe that 100% and take that to the bank because that data, that information, that truth has been sitting there since before the beginning of time. So when someone says you're older than dirt, they are absolutely right because you precede the foundation of the world according to Ephesians 1.4. And so I always give people permission because sometimes you feel things and you know things and you wanna lean into that. You wanna believe that, you wanna embrace that, but
Melissa Lapin (33:46.591)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (33:58.336)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (34:05.731)
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (34:08.835)
your brain won't let you because of experience, because of this, because that's hogwash. Lean into your spirit, spend time with what your spirit is saying because your spirit was birthed in the heart of a good father. And that information, right? That knowledge is true. That can be trusted. I don't know how I got off on that, but yes, I think that was the housewife piece because we do, we diminish ourselves and even people, you know, like you were saying, the average housewife, whatever that means, right? The woman who is doing the things, taking care of her family, trying to do her day job.
Melissa Lapin (34:11.054)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (34:25.77)
Yeah. You keep going. Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (34:39.307)
like me sweeping up the dog hair every single night for my husband's dog because I love him. I'm not a dog.
Melissa Lapin (34:45.994)
Roomba! Buy a Roomba! They're amazing!
Melody Dowlearn (34:48.955)
Well, I did, but then my grandson chases it. It's a conundrum over here, seriously. So, you know, but even while you're pushing the broom, you're scrubbing the toilets, you're folding the 900th load of laundry. And just turn off the brain, turn off the to-do list. And it's like you said, what do you say, God? Remind me, remind me who I am again. Remind me how you see me. Remind me what you were thinking when you pulled me from your heart.
You drop me into the earth at a specific time for specific people. Remind me. And what comes up in that moment, that is your truth. That is what he was thinking. That is a big piece of who you are. Begin to lean into that and explore that with a father because that will lead you to an encounter and take you on an adventure that you would have never otherwise imagined. But the key to that is really being able to believe and to lean in.
Melissa Lapin (35:25.921)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (35:45.999)
what your spirit is trying to tell you.
Melissa Lapin (35:50.89)
Well, people can send donations to you in Amarillo, right? Let's take up a collection for that little breach.
Melody Dowlearn (35:54.497)
Yeah
I have a collection so I can hire a dog hair person.
Just kidding. Kind of kidding. Anyway.
Melissa Lapin (36:02.304)
That's funny. Right. But yeah, I mean, that's just... Oh.
Melody Dowlearn (36:11.183)
Yeah. So.
Melissa Lapin (36:14.19)
good stuff.
Melody Dowlearn (36:14.247)
I feel like, you know, when I think back to my encounter and I think back, it's just funny. Like you said, you know, it would God sent me a man to love me and to redeem what a man had broken. And God's plan for my life included me carrying identity for others and being a voice of identity. And that was a thing that was so broken in my life, right? Because my twenties were me just grappling.
Melissa Lapin (36:39.459)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (36:43.399)
to rebuild what I thought I had broken, what I had to fix. I mean, who was I and where did I belong? I mean, this was the theme of my 20s and in my early 30s until God set me down and said, look, honey, let's start remembering together. So, you know, I just really encourage anyone listening. You know, there's so much, like the father has something to say about you. You could ask him every single day.
to tell him, you know how kids ask their parents, tell me a story when I was little. Well ask your father, tell me a story when I was little. He has information for you. He has good stuff for you. Partner with that, get on board with that, embrace that, write that down, focus on that, meditate on that, let that become your reality. And I promise you will not have an average life.
Melissa Lapin (37:17.986)
Good.
Melissa Lapin (37:22.421)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (37:34.39)
word to your mother. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. And going back a little bit to what you said about our origin, and I heard recently and I can't remember where I heard it. And it's true. And I think I've heard it before, but it just hit differently this time is that Adam is not our origin. Jesus is. And but
Melody Dowlearn (37:36.56)
Word to another.
Melissa Lapin (38:02.638)
modern church stops at Adam and tells us we're sinful and we're all of these things. And Jesus is like, Nope. Why? And then we actually were having a conversation with someone. And there are actually teachings out there which are I don't think they're heretical. But
Melody Dowlearn (38:13.904)
Nope.
Melissa Lapin (38:29.654)
They're a little bit further than my brain or faith can go right now. But they talked about our spirit, like we were alive in heaven, wherever heaven is. We are alive with Christ and we chose to be born. Like there's that whole teaching because if God's in us and we're in God and all that and we're all outside of time and...
Melody Dowlearn (38:43.495)
Right.
Melissa Lapin (38:59.258)
it was the things that she was saying. I'm like, you mentioned Jesus, so I might believe it. Yes. But it was cool. I mean, we were talking about it was in the alumni class, but, but just that thought of like, yeah, it was, it was like so out there. And I'm like, what? You just blew my mind.
Melody Dowlearn (38:59.355)
Yeah, for sure.
Melody Dowlearn (39:06.07)
Can we look at this through the lens of Jesus? Yeah, right, right.
Melody Dowlearn (39:18.447)
Sorry, yes, that would be an alumni class conversation. I was, yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (39:29.002)
But then I'm like, why, who would choose to come live this life and start over? I'm like, that's the part I can't. But believing and understanding that our origin is in the Father heart of God. It always has been. It's not like we started somewhere else and he created all the heavens and the earth and all the things. And then all of a sudden we were a fetus and he's like, I choose that one.
Melody Dowlearn (39:41.115)
Yes.
Melody Dowlearn (39:46.637)
Yes.
Melody Dowlearn (39:58.819)
Yeah, no, no.
Melissa Lapin (40:00.443)
That's what a like how random theology some people's belief system is, you know. Yes! Yes.
Melody Dowlearn (40:05.423)
Yeah, yeah. That's why I love the movie Soul because it is the best picture of this, right? There we are in the heart of the father, right? And then he sends us at a specific time for specific people, for specific generation, right? We go. That's our starting point in the timeline of time. That's when we enter into time, but our body entered into time. Our spirit is outside of time, right? And so,
Melissa Lapin (40:15.967)
Mm-hmm.
Uh huh.
Melissa Lapin (40:23.822)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (40:30.131)
Exactly.
Melody Dowlearn (40:30.827)
Making that distinction really helps people. And it really takes the pressure off birth parents because a lot of people, and I get it, right? You didn't get to pick your parents. But when you realize your parents were just stewards and maybe they understood, maybe they didn't, probably not, it's okay. It's okay because it becomes part of your story but it's not your full story. And it's not even where your story began, right? It was just another point on the timeline. And...
Melissa Lapin (40:46.542)
Mm-hmm. God just needed a birth canal. Yeah.
Mm hmm. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (40:59.405)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (41:00.399)
And then if you think about, okay, if you think about, I love to talk about this, if you started in the heart of your father, you see time is really not linear. Eternity is circular, time is linear, but we don't go in a line, we don't go in a linear fashion, we come full circle because we start in the heart of our father. And when we begin to understand our origin, when we discover who we are in a practical way to be sons and daughters, like what does that look like? What is our identity? What is our framework? What is our blueprint? Right, and we begin to engage that.
Melissa Lapin (41:10.37)
Mm-hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (41:29.175)
We begin to partner with process. Then we step into purpose. And as we begin to move in purpose, we fulfill our destiny. And we all have a common destiny. We all have a common origin. We start in the heart of the Father, and our destiny is to advance the kingdom of God within the system of man on the world, right? So we start in the heart of the Father, and we come full circle because our dream is his dream. And our purpose includes our dream. Our destiny includes our dream. And where do we land? In the fulfillment of that dream, the very place we started.
Melissa Lapin (41:55.91)
Mm-hmm, come on. That's so good. The circle of life.
Melody Dowlearn (41:57.967)
So you're just coming full circle. We're all somewhere in the circle.
Melody Dowlearn (42:04.935)
I was going to sing it, but you don't want me to do that. You'd have to edit it out.
Melissa Lapin (42:08.07)
And I can't believe I did. So there's that. It's my podcast. I'll sing if I want to. So awesome. Um, so figuring out how to land this cause that 45 minutes went really quick. 42 minutes. Um, what is.
Melody Dowlearn (42:14.746)
I'll sing if I want to. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (42:33.938)
And you've kind of done it several times here toward the end. But what is something of an encouragement or a nugget that you want to just drop people with that leaves them going, what? Tell me more.
Melody Dowlearn (42:51.629)
Okay, let me think here because there's a few, but you know, I think if I was just going to say one thing that regardless of where you are in the circle, right, you are on time.
Melissa Lapin (43:07.63)
Hmm.
Melody Dowlearn (43:08.524)
You're not behind. You don't have to make up time because you are not limited by time, but you were in time and you were on time. And so there's a lot of pressure, I think, especially in the past years that I have to get to where I'm going. And I don't think that's a bad idea, but remember there's no loss in the kingdom. There's only delay.
Melissa Lapin (43:34.557)
Mm, that's good.
Melody Dowlearn (43:35.275)
And you're okay where you are right now. Like you are fine. Take the next step and just keep moving forward. And you're gonna get where you were always supposed to be. So just give yourself grace to go at your own pace. I always say give yourself grace and space to go at your own pace, which is so stupid. It's like Dr. Seuss, but seriously, give yourself, give yourself grace and space to go at your pace. Heaven has never been in a hurry, so you don't have to be.
Melissa Lapin (43:54.61)
It rhymes and you can remember it.
Melody Dowlearn (44:04.495)
Just keep moving forward. You are not behind. Don't compare. Don't look at what this person's doing, that person's doing. Just keep moving forward because God is on your path. There are people for you that are waiting for you to show up. Remember, the world is waiting on you to show up in the truth and the power of who you are, okay? You cannot do that by staying locked in yesterday. You cannot do that by running forward. Like I always say, are you a Mo, are you a Joe, right? Moses?
Melissa Lapin (44:25.338)
Oh, so good.
Melody Dowlearn (44:34.215)
Mo, I love Mo. He's so vulnerable, he's so raw. Moses just runs to the hills and he's herding goats. Like that's what he does when he feels like he's separated from God when he kills the guy. He just hides and that's where some of you are. Like you're Mo's, like I don't have a dream. I don't really know who I am. So I'm just gonna go tend to my goats, right? Okay. But deep down inside, you want the dream. You look at the people who are in their dream and you're like, that's not for me.
That's not what I'm called to. I'm just called to 10 goats. Wrong. And then there's some of you who are like, Joe, like you've, since you've been three, Joseph, this is my dream. I'm gonna do, like, you can articulate that dream, but you tend to fast forward into the next season, the next season. I don't have time to go into that today, but whether you're a Mo or a Joe, just take a breath, engage where God is right now in the present, and just know you're gonna get to where you're going. Everybody has an identity. Everybody has a framework.
And when I say identity, in the church we say son and daughter. Yes, I'm not talking like churchies. Like you have a blueprint or a framework that is uniquely yours because you carry a manifestation of God that only you can release. You have that inside of you, every single person. Begin to engage that. It is there. It is connected to the dream of your heart. The two go hand in hand. They are like peanut butter and jelly. And I'm supposed to be landing this and I'm not doing a great job, melody mouth. But give yourself space and grace to go at your pace.
Melissa Lapin (45:46.581)
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (45:59.883)
Keep going.
Melody Dowlearn (46:03.355)
The dream of the Father is alive inside of you, whether or not you've encountered it or engaged it or even been aware of it. But if you begin to ask God for an encounter, He is faithful and He will meet you where you are, just like the woman at the well. And I promise you, one encounter can change everything.
Melissa Lapin (46:20.114)
Absolutely, because she became the first evangelist.
Melody Dowlearn (46:25.559)
Yes. Yeah. Look at that. She caught the dream.
Melissa Lapin (46:29.61)
So yeah, and I heard too, I had a quote from one of the ladies that I interviewed a while back, which I bring up a lot on my podcast because I freaking love it. She said, just because you've sidestepped something in the past doesn't mean you still don't have an invitation.
Melody Dowlearn (46:52.983)
Yep, so good.
Melissa Lapin (46:54.562)
and that's exactly like it. It doesn't matter what has happened to you. Stop, stop the merry-go-round, stop the hamster wheel and just sit and just say, okay, God, what do you think about me? Not, God, what do you think about what I've done? All that garbage, because that's whatever you can, whatever, but like what do you think about me?
Melody Dowlearn (47:07.172)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (47:15.642)
Yeah.
Melody Dowlearn (47:23.599)
Yeah, absolutely.
Melissa Lapin (47:25.31)
and then be okay with what you hear him say. And if it isn't good, it's not God. So yeah, and something else I heard too, which is just an academic side note is you talk about the Father Heart of God, that we start the Father Heart of God and we go on this, this whole journey and the process and the passion and all the other things that you said that my mind was hearing.
Melody Dowlearn (47:32.875)
That's right. That's so true. Yes. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (47:55.286)
But I was also thinking about this. Um, that we go full circle and come back to Father, heart of God because our dreams are his dreams and his dreams are our dreams. I love that because we try to, we try to separate it all and, and no, but also in that full circle. Well, wells are circles. And I don't think that it mattered. Where
Melody Dowlearn (48:12.283)
Yeah. No.
Melissa Lapin (48:24.422)
anywhere around that well, wherever she was in her life, whether she'd been divorced two times or married two times because we don't know it's divorce. People say it was divorce. She just had five husbands period. They like two husbands, five husbands, 12 husbands, no husbands. She went to that well and like got her identity. Like yeah, my mind was just like going off on that.
Melody Dowlearn (48:52.615)
I'm sorry.
Melissa Lapin (48:53.886)
revelation. It was like because the well is a circle and it doesn't matter where she doesn't matter from which side she approached that well she was still going to meet Jesus there. That's what
Melody Dowlearn (48:56.327)
Circle.
Melody Dowlearn (49:06.715)
Jesus in your circle.
Melissa Lapin (49:09.862)
Circle. Yes. Awesome. Oh my gosh. I could we could probably sit here all afternoon and chat. So I've always got a bowl of munchy right here. My things that don't perish my non-perishable vending machine right here. But do you need peanuts? You need a little bit of chocolate? Because they have like almost a never-ending shelf life.
Melody Dowlearn (49:15.595)
I know. Yeah, if I had brought snacks and a drink, I could hang out with you forever, Melissa.
Melody Dowlearn (49:28.618)
That's good. I need an office buffet. I need to work on that.
Melissa Lapin (49:39.602)
Got water, bring your beverage in with you. I've got tea, I've got water. So, but yeah, so I think, I think we'll land it there. Cause that's, that was really good.
Melody Dowlearn (49:43.805)
Nice.
Melissa Lapin (49:56.591)
You had mentioned that you are relaunching your whole website or all the things. You're, I guess, rebranding and relaunching.
Melody Dowlearn (50:05.731)
I'm relaunching the structure of the Identity Academy that offers courses so that there's very distinct courses for different people groups. So church space will have theirs, regular individuals have theirs, and then family teenagers would have theirs. So that is all going to start trickling out in January of 2024, and enrollment will reopen and all of those things.
Melissa Lapin (50:08.926)
Okay.
Melissa Lapin (50:14.337)
Okay.
I got you.
Melissa Lapin (50:28.526)
Okay, yeah, which we didn't really touch on a whole lot, the depth of actually what you do. But I did jump on your little website, and there was a lot of information there. So if anyone wants to connect with Melody, if she has piqued your interest in what she does, and I want to sign up because I just I love the way you communicate and just the truth that you
Melody Dowlearn (50:53.851)
Thank you.
Melissa Lapin (50:57.886)
in that identity, but we will have all of Melody's information, any of the website information, all of that posted so that if there was anything I said, anything she said, you can contact either one of us. Unless you're going to be a Karen, then just don't. We don't do hate mail. And so...
But yeah, I'm thankful, Melody. Thank you for coming on today.
Melody Dowlearn (51:29.967)
Thank you for having me. It was fun to chat unscripted. I like that. That was refreshing.
Melissa Lapin (51:34.75)
Yeah, yeah, I do it. Um, but now that I've hurt you, I might have some things we might talk about next time, because I'm pretty sure there's definitely going to be a next time. But, um, so with that said, I want to thank everyone for listening. Thank you. If this is not your first time, thanks for coming back. Thank you. If this is your first time, welcome, and we hope you enjoyed this episode. Um, we are, we're raw, unscripted.
Melody Dowlearn (51:41.703)
Okay. Sounds great.
Melissa Lapin (52:05.058)
foul sometimes, I don't know. We just we say all kinds of things. But it's never far from the Father's heart what we want to talk about. Because what God has to say matters and how he says it to each of us matters. And because our stories matter. And that's the point of this whole podcast. And so I hope you enjoyed it. And I hope you give us some
thumbs up some stars, some likes. I don't know the platform you've listened to this on, but however you can give us some love, we would really appreciate it because it helps us stay up at the front and play the algorithm game that we all know we have to play. So with that, we will say farewell and until next time. Bye everybody.
Melody Dowlearn (52:59.685)
Bye.
