Melissa Lapin (00:07.035)
Hi everybody, welcome to this episode of After the Well. Thank you for joining us. If this is your first time here, welcome. And if this is not your first time, welcome back. Today I have my friend, Beth Alexander, and I'm really excited about this episode. I say that every time. I'm just excited to talk to people about themselves. That's what I do, so it is. That's the only thing I say consecutively in all.
consistently in all the episodes is I'm so excited about this person because I am. I know Beth from School of Kingdom. She is the better half of Dub Alexander who founded School of Kingdom. She made him the man he is today. And just talking about life and how God kind of hangs out with us and how we see God in our every day. I love...
Beth Alexander (00:46.265)
That's right. Yes.
Melissa Lapin (01:01.895)
part of Beth's testimony, which she can tell or not tell and be as vulnerable as she wants to be, which I forgot to tell you behind the scenes. So, you know, there's that, but she has that Thalia Academy, which is what's first through fifth grade.
Beth Alexander (01:18.182)
This year is fifth, sixth, and seventh grade.
Melissa Lapin (01:20.503)
Oh, just fifth, sixth, seventh grade. Oh, okay, so you kind of moved along with your kid. Okay, yeah, you can do that because you teach the class. So there is that school that we're going to talk a little bit about, but yeah, so Beth, go ahead and introduce yourself just a little bit better than I did.
Beth Alexander (01:39.23)
Awesome. Thank you, great. That's great. Well, yeah, so I'm Beth Alexander. I live in Texas and have lived in Texas my whole life, married to Dubb for 20 years. We have a daughter, Cinda, who's 12, almost 13, which is crazy to have a teenager, our preteen right now. And yeah, the...
Things I do, I am an educator, that's what I do, and I run a school now. I was in public education for a long time. And then kind of the other part of who I am or what I like to do.
is I'm also a dancer and choreographer and so that's right now taking up a lot of life. We're in a huge, we're doing the Little Mermaid right now and I'm the choreographer so yeah it's taken up of all of our evenings and all that stuff. Yeah she does, yes she's in it too so it's fun we get to do it together. Yeah so yeah that's a little bit about me kind of.
Melissa Lapin (02:28.33)
FUN!
Melissa Lapin (02:34.139)
Does Cinda have a part in this one? Cool.
Yeah, very cool.
Beth Alexander (02:45.098)
In a nutshell.
Melissa Lapin (02:46.271)
Yeah, yeah. So what I like to do with guests is how we start just our jumping off point is a little bit of your background testimony how you grew up. Faith based, not faith based, again, as much as you want to share or not share. It's it's whatever. But I love
I love what I see in your life because you seem to be very consistent. I mean, I know we don't do daily life together or whatever, but there is a...
Melissa Lapin (03:30.659)
A steadiness and a stableness, I think, that comes from the Lord that I see on you. And not get like all Christian-ese or whatever. But you know, I see that there is this thing on your life that is just, yeah, just steady and stable and a lot of times that comes out of personality, but sometimes it could come out of a learned habit of survival. You know, it's like me. I was like, okay.
Beth Alexander (03:35.148)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (03:57.351)
Thank you.
Melissa Lapin (03:59.871)
Gotta survive here. But talk to us about, you know, just your encounters. Like when did you come to understand and have the revelation that Jesus sees you and you see him and take it from there?
Beth Alexander (04:25.834)
Okay, yeah, so kind of starting from the beginning, I did not grow up in faith at all.
My parents got divorced when I was one and a half. My mom got remarried when I was three to my stepdad who I love, an incredible human. And then my dad got remarried later when I was nine. But all that to say, growing up, my childhood wasn't the worst, but it wasn't the best either. The only thing I remember of church or anything like that growing up is when I was five, I was in the Christmas play at First Baptist Church. I remember that.
Um, and then when I was in high school, I would go to like the youth lock-ins because there was cute boys there. Like that was it, you know, that was my experience of anything church related. Um, my dad's father was a Baptist preacher, but they lived, um, up in New Hampshire and so like, I never, you know, we saw them in the summer one, once a year. That was it. Um,
Melissa Lapin (05:30.459)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (05:35.294)
So yeah, I didn't have any relationship with the Lord. Like I knew there was this person called Jesus, but I was like, I knew nothing about him, any of that. And then I'm 19 and I meet Doug for the first time. And we started hanging out and talking and really, really liked him, but he would not date me because I was not a Christian. And kind of another experience I'd had like right before him, I'd had this roommate.
Melissa Lapin (05:58.227)
Ha ha ha.
Beth Alexander (06:04.862)
who, so we were both like super party animals in college. Like we were in college for the social aspect, not the academic portion of college at the time. And so anyways, like, Oh, did you try again? Apparently Siri wants to be a part of the conversation. Anyway, so then all of a sudden she had become a Christian.
Melissa Lapin (06:23.959)
No, Siri, we don't want you.
Beth Alexander (06:33.482)
but she became super like judgmental and everything of what I've, because I chose not to become a Christian at the same time she did. And I was like, literally last weekend we were partying together and now you're judging me. And it was just like not, it was just such a really bad taste in my mouth. Cause I was like, who are you when you were exactly like me two days ago? Like it was just a weird.
Melissa Lapin (06:52.899)
Yeah. Well, you know, and that's what happened to Jesus too. He walked back home and they're like, we know you bro. So yeah, that's funny.
Beth Alexander (06:58.286)
Thank you.
Yeah. So it was just kind of weird. Anyway, so then I met Dub and we just got to know each other really well because he, like I said, he would not date me. So we became really good friends. And every Wednesday he was going and leading this worship for this youth group for his youth, former youth pastor Mark and Sinda Urquhart. And
Anyways, he would invite me every Wednesday and I was like, I just, I don't want to go. I have zero desire. Don't want to do it. So finally one Wednesday I was like, if I go one time, will you please leave me alone and stop asking me to go? Cause it was getting annoying and I was like, I don't want to go. Um, so anyways, he was like, sure. So I ended up going that Wednesday. And it was one of those moments that
Melissa Lapin (07:41.919)
Hehehehehe
Beth Alexander (07:56.614)
It felt like everything was set up specifically for me to be there. The message that Mark was speaking was just, I mean, it was all about the love of Jesus. And then Cinda, with her, it was the first time that I had ever felt like this is what Jesus's love is. I had heard people talk about it or whatever.
But it was my first time to experience it. And I was like, well, if this is what it's like to be a Christian and to understand Jesus' love, then I'm all in. Because if this is it, I can handle this. And so really that was my first experience of really encountering and truly feeling Jesus' love was at 19 and that moment. And I said the prayer that night and all those things.
that stuff. But anyways, that was for me the first moment that I was like, okay, like if this is it, I'm in, I'm down for this.
Melissa Lapin (08:57.212)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (09:08.175)
So what exactly was it that, yeah, how did he answer that? How did he meet you?
Beth Alexander (09:15.346)
Yeah, so I felt from Mark and Cynda, I felt understood and I felt seen for the first time from someone who, you know, from that pastoral position, I guess, you know, from an adult in that position, I felt understood and seen for the first time. And so that was huge.
Melissa Lapin (09:34.841)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (09:44.674)
for me. Yeah, so I would say.
Melissa Lapin (09:45.883)
Yeah, we talk about a lot about that on this podcast, how community is so healthy community is so important to help just to be an example and love us because there are a lot of times and we get in relationships and I'm sure you've been in relationships where we're the only Jesus that people see. And we've
Beth Alexander (10:12.533)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (10:14.375)
gotta love people well. I'm just gonna go there. We've gotta wash the feet, you know? Cause he gets us. We've gotta wash the feet. And because, and I've had those times where I was serving or doing like in just regular everyday, I was at my job. And again, none of this has to be religious. We cannot confine the acts of Jesus to inside the four walls of the church.
Beth Alexander (10:22.389)
Yes.
Beth Alexander (10:42.507)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (10:42.619)
or on a missions trip or on the street feeding the homeless people in a group with other people from your church. It's an everyday life. The woman at the well, she went to the well to get water. And she encountered Jesus and she didn't wait till, you know, a synagogue to say, hey, I met this guy last Thursday, you know, that seemed to be like the, you know, the Messiah, but I'm not sure.
Beth Alexander (10:51.713)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (11:06.247)
Right.
Melissa Lapin (11:13.495)
encountering people in our everyday life as examples and just living out the best way we can our mirror image of Jesus. And I've had people like, well your car just blew up and left you on the side of the road. How are you happy today? And I'm like, because God will give me another car. That's bullshit. And they just go on this rant. I'm like,
Beth Alexander (11:25.28)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (11:36.222)
Right.
Melissa Lapin (11:40.951)
we serve two different gods, I'm sorry. Let me tell you about this god. And so being open where we are on our journeys is so important. And I'm thankful that, because I know Dub's testimony as well, and just those two people, which I forget their names, were just so open and vulnerable and
Beth Alexander (11:46.125)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (12:10.903)
enough to go, okay, God, maybe I will give you a chance. I think that's just cool. Yeah. Because being seen is everything. We were talking about it Tuesday night in class or Wednesday night when we did our little gathering, SOK gathering, and we talked about it. Why did people want to hang out with Jesus? What was it? And we kind of all come to the conclusion that
Beth Alexander (12:13.93)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (12:39.843)
when he looked at people he saw them and they knew that he saw them and that's all it was you know it wasn't they just were known by him so i'm glad he made you known
Beth Alexander (12:42.914)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (12:53.678)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (12:56.938)
Yes, yep, me too, me too.
Melissa Lapin (13:01.895)
So what happened after that? Where did you get, what was the continuation of the journey for you? Walking that out.
Beth Alexander (13:07.558)
Yeah, so from then, so then Dove and I became an item, right? Now we're dating because I'm a Christian now, right? Yeah, officially. Officially in the club now. Yeah, so we start dating and he pulls me right into religion.
Melissa Lapin (13:15.64)
Cause you're official.
Melissa Lapin (13:19.888)
Ha ha ha.
Melissa Lapin (13:31.215)
What? The cult leader's son? What?
Beth Alexander (13:33.274)
Yeah, because he's already in leadership at the church, right? And here I am, brand new Christian, but as the girlfriend or whatever, it's like you're expected to come on and jump right in too. And so I always like to say I used to go to children's church all the time because I would go in there because I'm like, I'm on their level. I don't know any of this.
Melissa Lapin (13:38.728)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (13:46.519)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (13:58.052)
Right?
Beth Alexander (13:58.974)
So I would go send children's shirts so I could learn Bible stories because I literally, I didn't know anything. Yeah. Yes.
Melissa Lapin (14:03.963)
Gotta start somewhere.
Melissa Lapin (14:08.179)
Did you learn? Was it still impactful for you? Okay.
Beth Alexander (14:11.09)
No, I thought it was, you know, because like, I mean, seriously, like, I didn't know, no Zark, I didn't, I didn't know these things because I just didn't go to church, you know? And so, and like, I didn't have friends who went to church, like, it was just not, we were great people, we weren't heathens or anything, we just, we just didn't go to church, we weren't quote unquote believers.
Melissa Lapin (14:20.165)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (14:33.935)
Right?
Melissa Lapin (14:37.575)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (14:39.198)
But anyways, yeah, so I enjoyed it. Of course, come to find out, like, you know, of course kids are like my niche. I don't know. I guess, you know, like that's just, you know, my people exactly. I relate to kids very well. No, but I guess, you know, I would go and I would sit in children's church and I would, you know, volunteer there because that's where I would learn. And then, you know, I also helped with the youth.
Melissa Lapin (14:50.628)
Yeah, they're your people.
Beth Alexander (15:09.414)
on Wednesday nights, because I was leading worship and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, we got married really soon. We only dated for eight months. So we got married on our eight month anniversary and just kind of jumped into life really fast, really young, really dumb. All the things. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, you know, of course,
Melissa Lapin (15:33.735)
Sometimes that's the best way.
Beth Alexander (15:39.306)
When you get married at 20, you think you've got life figured out and you learn real quick that you're like, I'm young and dumb and I don't know anything. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (15:48.403)
I should have made this choice. I mean, I was 19 and Scott was 20. So yeah. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (15:53.03)
Yeah, we were 20 and 21. So, and don't try it in. And three days after we got married, Doug lost his job. And so it was, it was like he came home, he's like, remember that richer or poorer part? Well, we're poor. And I was like, well, we were poor anyway. So it's fine. Yeah, exactly. No, but I remember this just triggered a memory because our first apartment together,
Melissa Lapin (16:08.912)
Right? When were we rich?
Beth Alexander (16:22.338)
It was this little garage apartment and it was a friend of mine that I had known from when I danced professionally. And anyways, I reached out to him and I was like, is your garage apartment available? And he's like, yeah. So he like let us rent it for 150 bucks a month. Super cheap because we literally had nothing. Yeah. But I remember.
Melissa Lapin (16:41.091)
Okay. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (16:46.85)
bringing this apartment up specifically because it's another time, like a very significant moment, like in my walk with the Lord. And it was on a Sunday morning and I'm supposed to actually teach Sunday school to the youth that morning, not to kids, but like to the actual youth. I know, right? And so keep in mind, I'm still like maybe a year into even being a believer.
Melissa Lapin (17:06.56)
Ooh, upgrade.
Beth Alexander (17:17.206)
Um, and I'm terrified to teach Sunday school because I'm like, I don't know anything. I was, I was just so nervous and I remember just sitting at my vanity and cause Dev had already gone because he was a worship pastor so he had to get up there and do all that stuff. Anyway, so I remember sitting at my vanity and going, I'm not doing this. Like I'm just, I'm not going to go. I'm just going to, I'm going back to bed. Like it was that, it was stupid. I was being overdramatic, but, um.
Anyways, I was basically throwing myself a pity party and just like feeling sorry for myself and going, I'm not going, I'm not doing this, I cannot do this. And I audibly heard a voice go, no, like super loud and it scared me so much that I was like, I thought someone was in the apartment with me, like it scared me. And I was like, um, and like I froze because I was like, there's someone here. And I was like, hello? And like, no answer.
Melissa Lapin (18:05.051)
Wow, okay.
Beth Alexander (18:15.486)
And so of course this is before cell phones. I mean, people had cell phones, we just didn't. And so anyways, I just, I sit there for a little while and just like listening and I don't hear anything. So I get up and like, I'm walking around and like, I mean, our apartment is tiny. So I look in like the two places that a person could even be and there's no one in there. And so it like, all of a sudden it hit me that I was like, was that the Lord?
Melissa Lapin (18:21.585)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (18:42.494)
And so I asked, I was like, Lord, was that you? And I audibly hear yes. And I was like, what? Like I'm freaking out because I didn't know this could happen. Like I had no grid for this. And I was like, okay. I said, I don't wanna teach Sunday school. Like I was still feeling sorry for myself. And I was like, I don't wanna teach Sunday school.
Melissa Lapin (18:49.314)
Hmm.
Melissa Lapin (19:07.482)
Ha!
Beth Alexander (19:11.998)
And then like, it was a different, so the first two were like audible, and this next, like this one was more like of that internal, you just like hear him, you know? And like all of a sudden I just heard him say, do it. And like this like crazy amount of peace like just came over me and I was like, oh, okay. You know? And like.
Melissa Lapin (19:22.963)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (19:31.643)
Hmm.
Beth Alexander (19:38.77)
that whole encounter like totally shook me because I had never heard of anybody having an experience like that. I don't know who I could tell because I was like, are they going to think I'm crazy? You know? Yeah. And so I just, you know, Doug came and picked me up because we only had one car. So he came and picked me up and I was like nervous to tell him because I was like, this is so weird. So I tell him what happened.
Melissa Lapin (19:48.996)
Schizophrenic now. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (20:06.43)
And he was like, that's really cool. And he got really excited, but he was like, let's also not tell anybody right now. So I didn't know, cause you know, we were, you know, it was a non-denominational church, but it was not a non-denominational. Yeah. Um, so anyways, that was another one of those like early on in my walk moments that I was just like, this is different and weird. And, um, but also.
Melissa Lapin (20:12.54)
Right? Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (20:19.099)
But still, yeah.
Beth Alexander (20:35.894)
I'll never forget that feeling of just complete like peace and like confidence that came over me. Cause I was like, seriously, like, I can't do this. Like I'm not meant to like be a teacher. Like I wasn't even teaching or anything in education at the time, you know? And I was like, this is not, I'm not meant to do this kind of stuff. And turns out,
Melissa Lapin (20:51.76)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (20:55.687)
But you had already had your degree though, right? In early education? Oh, you didn't? Okay.
Beth Alexander (20:59.774)
No, no, no. So I actually didn't graduate college until I was 30. Yeah, because through life events, I had, so I was in college, but I got an academic probation, because remember I was there for the social life, not the academic life. So I got an academic probation. And then when I got married, my parents, which understandably, they were like, we're not paying for college anymore.
Melissa Lapin (21:05.703)
Okay.
Melissa Lapin (21:19.151)
Yeah, true.
Beth Alexander (21:28.906)
If you're an adult, you do it on your own, which at the time I was mad at them, but being mature now I get it. Anyway, so I stopped going to college once we got married. And then I tried going back a couple of different times, but I would go back for a semester or take one class and then something would happen and I'd have to stop again, just life events and stuff.
Melissa Lapin (21:41.315)
Okay.
Melissa Lapin (21:56.985)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (21:58.566)
Um, but also I didn't know what I wanted to do. I changed my major four times. If I just, I honestly, I still had no idea who I was. I thought, you know, growing up, I danced my whole life. And like, that was my identity for all my whole life until I got married, you know? Um, and so I thought I was going to be a professional dancer, do something like that. You know, and
Melissa Lapin (22:17.657)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (22:27.398)
It just didn't work out. I mean, I still do dance stuff, but not the way I had envisioned it. Like I actually got a dance contract to go dance in Miami when I was 18 and my parents said no. And I could have gone because I was 18, I could have made the decision to go ahead and go, but I listened to them and didn't go, which turned out to be a good thing. So then I met Dub and now here we are, you know.
Melissa Lapin (22:40.455)
Wow.
Beth Alexander (22:56.87)
Yeah, I watched music videos and stuff and I'm like, oh god, that could have been me and I'm so glad it's not. Like that's where I was headed if my parents hadn't said no to me going. Anyways, where was I going with all that? Oh, yeah, so I didn't know, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do with my life and like what my purpose was and I had
Melissa Lapin (23:03.239)
Ha, yeah.
Melissa Lapin (23:11.79)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (23:23.238)
I worked at a bank for a long time. I was at a doctor's office. I worked as a preschool music teacher. I did, what else? I did all kinds. I was a waitress for a long time. I was the church secretary for a long time. I did all kinds of stuff. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (23:42.171)
You know, there's nothing wrong with that. So anybody out there who hasn't found their way, be encouraged by this. Because I do, I mean, like, I've been a travel agent. I've been a personal trainer. I keep going through these things. I mean, finally now I'm doing what I know I'm called to do. But I mean, worked in retail, I worked at families.
Beth Alexander (23:48.894)
Nope. Exactly.
Melissa Lapin (24:07.895)
mostly retail stuff. I mean, but then I didn't have, I haven't had a job since 1999, you know, cause we homeschooled the kids a little bit and stuff, which that was a disaster. I'm so bad. My kids dropped out of homeschooling. Like it's so bad. Not even lying. Yeah, they both quit when they were 16, but it wasn't my fault. I swear we were in a church that, you know, you gotta homeschool your kids. You don't want them in a public school. And I'm like, I don't want them in my-
Beth Alexander (24:12.831)
Nice. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (24:24.124)
That's funny.
Melissa Lapin (24:35.839)
So what do I do? You know, so that's a whole rant on its own. The cult of church tells you if you'd loved your kids you wouldn't send them to public school. The devil's in the public school. I'm like, hmm, I don't think so, but okay, you know, you don't know what you don't know. But um, so Circling
Beth Alexander (24:36.298)
Great. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (24:41.863)
Yes. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (24:48.274)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (24:54.394)
Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (25:04.531)
I don't know about circling back around but in this time, I mean like what was your...
being in the church and you said, you know, dub through you into religion, just the works and doing the things, but then also hearing God's voice. How did that play out? What were, what was the tension that you were living?
Beth Alexander (25:28.47)
Yeah, so there was actually a lot of inner turmoil for me during that time because I think a couple of things. One, because I didn't become a Christian until I was 19, I'd already had this foundation of you can't tell me what to do kind of thing. You know? Yeah. Well, and just like, I guess for me, my point of view is I was...
Melissa Lapin (25:46.767)
Yeah, I had one of those.
Beth Alexander (25:55.37)
I was not a bad person. Like I liked to party. That was my vice. Like, you know, like, yeah.
Melissa Lapin (25:59.543)
Yeah, if that's the worst I do is drink. Girl, don't worry about it because the day I got saved, I went to church with my cousin. We went in, I got saved, said the little prayer, did the whole thing, right? Went out to the car and threw weed out the window. So there's that. That's my conversion story. Threw a whole back of pot right out the window in the church parking lot, right? I could have probably waited till I got down the road somewhere.
Beth Alexander (26:16.962)
That's awesome. Yes. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (26:25.234)
That's hilarious.
Melissa Lapin (26:29.255)
But now I was like, boop, I'm a Christian now. And I'm like, dang, I could have sold that.
Beth Alexander (26:33.072)
That's awesome.
Beth Alexander (26:38.655)
Oh, I love that. So yeah, I think like, so part of it was, is I never thought of myself as a bad person in the first place, you know? And so when all of a sudden, like I'm a bad person if, that kind of whole scenario, I was like, mm.
Melissa Lapin (26:48.645)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (27:00.064)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (27:02.898)
it just like none of that set well with me and I was just like but I'm I wasn't a bad person before I became a Christian so I it just like there was a lot of contradiction in that sense for me um and then also I felt like I just had to sit back and be quiet as Dubb's wife
Melissa Lapin (27:05.228)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (27:14.307)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (27:30.858)
as the pastors, you worship pastors wife, whatever, you know, like
Melissa Lapin (27:30.905)
Mm.
Melissa Lapin (27:35.419)
So did you feel like you were struggling because you didn't have your own identity yet? Okay.
Beth Alexander (27:40.314)
Yes, I had no clue who I was. Not a clue. I literally do. Yes.
Melissa Lapin (27:43.235)
Yeah. Well, especially being a new Christian or baby Christian or whatever, and then thrust into leadership position. And traditionally in church pastors, wives, they don't get to do anything and, you know, yeah. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (27:50.535)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (27:58.538)
Yeah, you're Dove's wife. That was my identity. I was Dove's wife, which is a great, it's hard, it's hard to be, no, I love him. He's my favorite human. But that's all I knew of who I was once we got married, is I was his wife. And so, yeah, just, I felt like I lost identity.
Melissa Lapin (28:03.599)
That's hard right there, being his wife.
Melissa Lapin (28:15.939)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (28:26.814)
when I became a Christian, if that makes sense. Yeah, I felt like I lost identity. And I just want...
Melissa Lapin (28:28.976)
Yeah, for sure.
Melissa Lapin (28:34.791)
That's a good point. Yeah, hold that thought for a second. That's a really good point because...
People who are pre-believers outside the church, like my life was good too. You know, I didn't grow up with God. My life was all right. I mean, we just, God was just not on our radar. What an anti-God, we just didn't do God. And like the first time I went to church is after my dad died, I went to church with some friends. They, you know, come and oh, you know, kumbaya, let's go to church or whatever. These are the same kids I was selling weed to on a Friday night.
Beth Alexander (28:47.726)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (28:53.086)
Right. Exactly.
Melissa Lapin (29:09.491)
who are trying to be all kitty-kitty on Sunday. But the church does that. You're not quote bad, or you're just living life. And then you get in church, and then all of a sudden, all of this false identity is put on you. And you're this and you're that, and you have to do this and you have to do that, and you can't do this and you can't do that. And we just kind of fall into place like little robots because we don't know.
We don't know any different and we plug along and it's like, well, they've been a Christian longer than I have, so they must know something. And then you're just doing this, these garbage rituals or whatever, Sunday morning, check the box and all of this and inside you're like dying because you know, like, okay, this isn't who I am. There's gotta be more than this, but who do you go to find those answers?
Beth Alexander (30:05.579)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (30:08.835)
You know, who do you go to because everyone you see is like the same. Or they're judging the other denomination because they're a little bit different even though they have their rules to follow. You know, it's just like the woman at the well. There's not a story, I've never heard a story of her where she's not made out to be a prostitute. She was a prostitute. She was married five times. That does not make her a prostitute. You know, so what? She was with a guy?
Beth Alexander (30:09.017)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (30:20.322)
Right.
Beth Alexander (30:28.063)
Right.
Melissa Lapin (30:38.063)
doesn't make her a prostitute, maybe he wasn't paying her, you know? Just like she lived all, her reputation was put on her by religion. And I hate that. So continue.
Beth Alexander (30:41.118)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (30:55.01)
No, you're good. Yeah, so I feel like there was a lot of, for me, it was just easier to sit back and just be quiet, you know, than try and question things or.
Melissa Lapin (31:12.239)
Are you naturally a non-confrontational person? Okay.
Beth Alexander (31:14.986)
Yes, because of my childhood, there was a lot of aggression and fighting, and not to me, but my parents towards each other. And so I just learned to be quiet really early on in life, you know? And yeah, I can handle confrontation now because I've worked through things and developed and become healthy.
Melissa Lapin (31:18.363)
Just family dynamic. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (31:27.025)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (31:36.942)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (31:44.824)
Right.
Beth Alexander (31:45.202)
But yeah, early on, like in my 20s, like Deb and I always say, we've never actually fought. We've had disagreements and stuff. But I think one of the reasons we've never fought is because both of us did not handle situations correctly early on in our marriage. We would just do the cold shoulder thing rather than work it out. You know, like we didn't, especially... It is. No, it is.
Melissa Lapin (32:05.968)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (32:09.479)
Which sometimes is just as bad. It's just another way of fighting. A silent fight.
Beth Alexander (32:18.491)
Yes, and sometimes it's worse because then you're in your head and things get out of control in your head and like that actually never happened. Yeah. Yeah, we always say, Dev and I have been married 20 years, 19 good ones, because our second year of marriage, we were, I didn't, both of us didn't think we were gonna make it. We're like, this is this, we
Melissa Lapin (32:20.347)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (32:24.645)
Yeah.
Right? Yeah.
Beth Alexander (32:43.894)
gave it a try, but it was not it, you know? But it's because honestly, I think, I mean, we both take the blame, you know? And we both are at fault in that year, but me, I literally went silent. I just went quiet because I didn't know who I was anymore. I was just trying to survive kind of thing, you know?
Melissa Lapin (32:46.74)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (33:12.999)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (33:13.078)
being thrown into everything. And yeah, but through that, I will say this, this is where I mean, I just now putting this together. Yeah, I like it. Because it's taken me back to the house that we lived at the time. We lived at the church parsonage during our second year of marriage. And I will say that there was a moment.
Melissa Lapin (33:23.847)
See, this is what happens on the podcast.
Beth Alexander (33:40.342)
He came home, Doug came home and he was like, I need to talk to you about something that he was kind of learning about and it was the Holy Spirit. And we were like, wait, who, you know, like, I mean, it was a new concept, which is so weird to think about now, but so we started talking about Holy Spirit and then we started talking about tongues and, you know, the gift of tongues. And I was like, it was very intriguing to me. And
Melissa Lapin (33:52.592)
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Beth Alexander (34:10.55)
So we were talking about that for a little while and I can't remember exactly how the conversation went. It was forever ago. But anyways, I remember he had to leave. And so he left for something and I laid down on our living room floor, face down on the carpet. And I remember I just started just crying because I was just like, I felt like I was like,
Holy Spirit, like if you're real and what were, the conversation that we were having, I was like, if that's real, then I want that. I really, really wanna experience what that is and the idea of having this language that's unique for me to be able to have the conversation and all this kind of stuff. It was very intriguing. And I was just so overwhelmed in that moment.
with this, just the thought of Holy Spirit and like what Holy Spirit does and all that kind of stuff. And I'm just crying on the floor and all of a sudden this literally these words just started coming out of my mouth. And I was just like, and it was my prayer language and it literally was just like that. And I was like, it was another one of those moments that scared me, like how I'd heard the audible voice. Cause I was like, this isn't.
Melissa Lapin (35:26.414)
Well, yeah.
Beth Alexander (35:37.898)
normal people aren't doing this. Like, you know, like we literally just had a conversation and now it's happening. Like, and so.
Melissa Lapin (35:41.151)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (35:47.407)
So was Dubb talking or he had just heard about it? Was he speaking in tongues? Okay.
Beth Alexander (35:51.494)
Um, he, he hadn't yet. So it was still like a new kind of, I mean, it was still a new idea, you know, concept and, um, anyways, but so I got my pro language like right there. I knew it wasn't, it's not what I was asking for. I was just like wanting Holy Spirit, you know, but I, with it, it all just kind of started flowing. Um, yeah. And so it was just one of those moments that.
Melissa Lapin (35:58.023)
Okay.
Melissa Lapin (36:08.103)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (36:12.007)
That's so cool.
Beth Alexander (36:17.49)
One thing I do, I realize like with the Lord, like I have a lot of private moments, you know? It's like there'll be something that will like trigger the moment, but then it happens when I'm by myself, you know? And I like that, cause I like to, you know, those moments to be private. I'm not a public spectacle person, you know? I don't like to, I'm that person. So like, like I don't even.
Melissa Lapin (36:31.975)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (36:41.348)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (36:46.039)
And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that at all. And I think, I kind of think that's the way it should be, is the personal moments. Because when you look at the people in the scripture, you know, throughout that Jesus impacted, it was, a lot of it was one-on-one, one-on-two, you know.
Beth Alexander (36:49.034)
No. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (36:59.745)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (37:13.047)
Right.
Melissa Lapin (37:13.631)
and it was very intimate and even like the woman, I just think even the woman who touched the hem of his garment, so many people pressing it on him and she's the one that touched him, like touched him. And that was personal and private and I think that God just made everybody else melt away and it was just them face to face having a conversation.
You know, it doesn't, and I think a lot of it too.
Melissa Lapin (37:50.355)
People get afraid to go there with God. You know? They think, which is also the reason I love the woman at the well, because it starts off that Jesus was already at the well waiting on her to show up. You know? She was already there before he was. I mean, he was there before she was. And we, though, expect that it has to happen on Sunday morning or at a conference or at a women's retreat or a b----.
Beth Alexander (37:54.432)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (38:04.474)
Mm-hmm
Melissa Lapin (38:19.495)
Bible study that it's this group thing and it isn't. It is not, you know? And so I want to encourage any listener that even if it feels weird or you feel uncomfortable or you don't have language for whatever, just sit, find a chair, go in your closet, go on old school, find a closet to get into, shut the door, you know, go sit in your bathroom, whatever.
Beth Alexander (38:43.439)
Hahaha
Melissa Lapin (38:49.083)
where you're private and uninterrupted and just sit there and ask, just, God, can you tell me who you are? Jesus, who are you? Holy Spirit, who are you? And I guarantee you, all three of them will answer you separately because they all three wanna show up differently in your life. They're one and the same, but they will show up differently in your life according to where you are on your journey. But we have to be willing to go.
Beth Alexander (39:05.153)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (39:17.895)
get out of our religious boxes, because the last person I just, and actually several people that I've interviewed, talk about, I did not know Jesus. I knew the Jesus that other people told me about. And we have to come to that point in our own lives. For you, it was, you're just like, something drove you that there's gotta be more. I want whatever this more is, God, Holy Spirit, if you're real, and then boom.
Beth Alexander (39:32.244)
Yep. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (39:47.403)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (39:47.927)
You know, because you just, you said yes before you even knew what you were saying yes to. You know? And we have to be that vulnerable and that innocent with the Lord, you know, to go, you know what, I don't even know what this is going to look like, but I'm choosing to trust you even though...
Beth Alexander (39:55.083)
Very sweet, yeah.
Melissa Lapin (40:14.839)
Speaking in tongues is not what my denomination talks about. Healing is not what my denomination talks about. Certainly raising people from the dead are not what my denomination talks about kind of thing. I want everything that you want me to have, which is everything. You know, and I love that. So I encourage you listeners, just do that. Just sit and ask.
Beth Alexander (40:18.456)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (40:26.606)
Okay.
Melissa Lapin (40:43.803)
the questions that no one else around you are answering, or that you don't see in anyone else, that you know that there's something in you that is not fulfilled, and then just ask. Ask Holy Spirit, show me what dot looks like in my life. So we have not because we ask not. So I'm glad you asked. Ha ha ha.
Beth Alexander (41:05.526)
Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I am too, I am too, because definitely led to, you know, just the next journey in life and yeah.
Beth Alexander (41:24.422)
It was really cool because I mean, you know, it was that moment. And of course, when Dubbo got home, I shared that with him. And then, you know, like we were able to. That was something that him and I had together. That that was kind of ours for a while, because it was something we couldn't. We didn't know how to share yet or how to explain, you know, what we were experiencing.
you know, with walking, starting to walk in the gifts of the Spirit and like, and just learning what that looked like and what that was for us, you know, and then because especially from there, we went from that non-denominational church and we ended up in a Methodist church after that. Yeah. Well, it's crazy. It was one of the situations that...
Melissa Lapin (42:02.323)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (42:12.992)
That's going backwards.
Beth Alexander (42:22.242)
The Lord, he of course did not orchestrate it because I do not think he ever orchestrates anything, in that sense, he just is able to use everything to benefit you. But we were both working at the same church, he was the worship pastor, I was the church secretary, and then we were both the young adult pastors, is what we were doing there. And we had just bought our house.
Melissa Lapin (42:35.463)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (42:51.178)
First time homeowners just bought our new house, all this kind of stuff. Life was going so good. Anyways, we got called into the office and we got fired on the same day, out of nowhere. No, we were like, wait, what? Like no warning, no nothing. Like both of us caught off guard. Basically what happened is the pastor, who was there at the time, his best friend was a worship pastor and had gotten fired from his job. And so, I mean, we found this out.
Melissa Lapin (43:03.751)
tomorrow.
Melissa Lapin (43:18.084)
Ehhhh
Beth Alexander (43:21.106)
a couple months later, you know, but it was just, uh, it was a very hurtful, very painful situation because I looked to this pastor, like he was like a dad to me, you know, and then like he fired dumb. And then he looked at me and said, and because I fired your husband, I don't think you can work for me either. Like that was it. And we were literally escorted out and we were just like, what the heck? We weren't allowed to come back and get our stuff.
Melissa Lapin (43:22.948)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (43:32.331)
Hmm.
Beth Alexander (43:51.19)
say goodbye to our, like go, like have a meeting with the college young adult group and be like, we're leaving, like we weren't allowed to leave. It was crazy. Like we were treated like criminals. Like people thought we had done something terrible because of how we were treated when we had done nothing wrong. Anyways, the truth eventually came out, which was great. But through that, we ended up moving to Vernon, Texas, of all places.
Melissa Lapin (43:58.896)
Ah!
Melissa Lapin (44:05.849)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (44:20.834)
and we worked for First United Methodist Church. So we were just like, Lord, what are we doing? Like, we literally, it was like, what are we doing? But that's where I realized that education was what I was meant to be, or do, because I became a sub, because I needed a job. And so I became, I was the children's pastor, we were both the youth pastors, Dubb was leading worship.
Melissa Lapin (44:27.379)
I'm sorry.
Melissa Lapin (44:39.612)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (44:50.602)
And then I was a children's pastor, but it was really just part time. And so I became a sub and I started subbing and I loved it except for kindergarten. I subbed in a kindergarten class for a whole week and I was like, never again. Well, I view little kids, they are cute, but not like that. Um, not numbers and not for eight hours a day. Nope. Um,
Melissa Lapin (45:04.084)
Hahaha
Melissa Lapin (45:09.325)
Not in numbers!
Melissa Lapin (45:13.937)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (45:15.622)
But anyways, I started subbing and then they asked me to come on full time as a teacher's assistant for special ed. And so I did and I worked at the fourth and fifth grade campus and just loved it. And I remember being in the classrooms and like watching the teachers and going, I could do this, but I was having these ideas of like ways that it could be done better, you know, and I was like, oh, they could do it like this or
if they did the lesson this way, or they could do this activity. I was just having all of these ideas. And so I went to Dub and I was like, I think I'm supposed to be a teacher. And he was like, cool. And so I went back to school at 20.
Melissa Lapin (45:58.931)
I could totally just saw him reacting. All right, cool. And then just go. That's funny.
Beth Alexander (46:01.978)
All right, cool. Yeah. And so, yeah, I went back to school at 27 and a half, almost 28. Also pregnant. Yeah. And I did two and a half, almost three years of school in a year and a half. I did 24 to 27 hours a semester.
Melissa Lapin (46:14.951)
There's a thing.
Beth Alexander (46:29.854)
And then I did every intersession and then three to six hours every summer session. Like I did not take a break. And so, yeah. And so I just wanted to just be done. But also, um, once, cause remember I changed my major so many times. Um, my bachelor's degree is actually general studies with an emphasis in education. Um, because I had so many random credits, I didn't want to start over.
Melissa Lapin (46:36.979)
Dang. You just wanted to be done with it or? Okay.
Melissa Lapin (46:48.356)
Okay, yeah.
Beth Alexander (46:59.334)
And so all of my previous credits counted towards like the general ed. And then everything else after that I took was all education classes, you know. And then I got my certification through PACE, the PACE program, which is like a. Alternative certification program in Texas. And so anyways, but what I realized is that once I knew what my purpose was and what I was supposed to do, school became easy and I became a 4.0 student.
Melissa Lapin (47:03.674)
Uh.
Melissa Lapin (47:26.695)
Hmm. So there's acceleration in that. And that's so true. When we understand, when we find that thing that just feeds us, which we know that that's like our God thing. And it doesn't have to come out of nowhere, you know? It could be just because it should be easy. We should love it. It should be enjoyable in our lives.
Beth Alexander (47:39.391)
Yes.
Beth Alexander (47:42.839)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (47:56.635)
But like for me, doing the podcasting and I want to get into speaking and writing or get into more speaking, I've done a few things. But all of my whole life, I've been in training for this. It wasn't like I woke up a year ago and go.
I think I want to do this, you know, and then you start at it. We have to look into our lives. And this is where emotional intelligence and self-awareness and learning our personality giftings and traits and stuff like that. My dogs are losing their mind. But understanding that everything about us and it makes us who we are is part of who we're gonna be.
Beth Alexander (48:30.788)
Hahaha
Melissa Lapin (48:44.131)
We just have to recognize that, okay, this is a thing that gives me joy in this moment. So let me do this. It doesn't have to be the lifelong thing. Everything builds on itself. I say that just as encouragement because people think, I'm a waitress, I'll only ever be a waitress. And then we kind of get stuck in the, stuck in everyday. We get stuck into going well, getting water and going home.
Beth Alexander (48:53.324)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (49:12.775)
going to the well, getting water, going home, instead of going to the well and going, okay, I like this well, this well feeds me, but there's something after, you know? So, plug into Thalia now. So how did that just, cause I love that story and what you've done kind of leading up to that with education system and.
Beth Alexander (49:22.946)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (49:39.051)
your kingdom vision for public school systems and all of that, because I think that that, I think it's a beautiful story and it is who you were made to do and I think it comes out of your whole journey leads up to that.
Beth Alexander (49:52.106)
Yes. Yeah, I absolutely agree. And I mean, I could tell more stories of, you know, the things that looking back on my life that I was like, ah, that the purpose of that was to prepare me for this. And the purpose of that, like I look back and in the moment you don't understand, or you might be like, why am I doing this? But you know, as you progress and you grow and you look back and you're like, oh, that's why, now I get it.
Melissa Lapin (50:06.919)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (50:19.441)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (50:21.982)
So yeah, so like I said, I went back to college, graduated at 30 years old, and then went right into public education as a fifth grade teacher, and I loved it. I was so happy, I loved it.
I worked at my first school for five years and just it was incredible. And only reason I left is because they, um, the town, it was a small town that I was working in and they had a bond election and all this kind of stuff. And they ended up having to shut that school down because of finances, you know? Um, and so, uh, long story short, I was a public school teacher for, uh, over 10 years in the public education system. And, um,
Melissa Lapin (50:54.919)
Hmm.
Beth Alexander (51:09.834)
I had always had a dream, so back in probably 2015, yeah 2015, I was at this workshop event kind of thing, I don't know what you wanna call it, conference kind of thing.
And I was there with a couple of my friends and the Lord had put this idea in me to start a school. Like it was like just a stream and I was like that is incredible. I love it. At this time I'd only been in public education like actually fully in it for a couple years and so it was one of those that I was like I love that. Thank you for giving that to me. I'm going to hold on to that because it just seemed so overwhelming and huge.
where for where I was in my life at the time. But he gave me the name and, you know, and was like, you know, this is something that I want you to do. And and again, and I told people about it. I was like, God, the Lord gave me this dream and here's what it is. Everybody was so excited. But I kept coming up with excuses as to why not to do it, because it was so big in my mind. And so. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (51:59.271)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (52:23.467)
as we all do. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (52:25.938)
It was so big and so overwhelming in my mind because for me, I was only picturing it as a in-person brick and mortar. I have to have a building. I have to have, you know, like da da. Like I'm picturing traditional school, right? In that sense, like in the building classroom kind of sense. And so then through COVID.
Melissa Lapin (52:39.666)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (52:54.47)
Of course, everything went online and even teachers, we didn't know what we were doing. Everybody got thrown into the deep end and everybody was making it up as we went. Just being honest, every school district was making it up as they went. No one did it perfect. It was a hot mess for everybody. But I got thrown into the deep, deep end because I was teaching fifth grade science at the time.
Melissa Lapin (53:04.512)
Yup.
Melissa Lapin (53:09.233)
Yup.
Beth Alexander (53:23.458)
And when it happened, our fifth grade math teacher was retiring that year. And so he was like, yeah, I'm not going to do this. So he refused.
Melissa Lapin (53:33.18)
And a lot of people did that. A lot of teachers just dipped like so fast. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (53:39.431)
Yeah, yeah, and I was like, yeah, I get it. You're retiring. There's no youth. Like, there's two months of school left. Like, yes, you know. And then our, so I took over math for him because he was just like, I don't want to do this. And I was like, I don't blame you. I wouldn't either if I was you. So I was teaching math and science and then our reading teacher, she was pregnant and ended up going into labor a month early.
Melissa Lapin (53:45.483)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (54:04.85)
And so I now I have all of fifth grade online. No one knows what we're doing, but we made, we managed, we made it work. So I taught math, reading and science all online through the end of the year for COVID, you know, all that stuff. And we were very successful somehow through Holy Spirit. It was, I.
have to give a lot of credit to partnering with Holy Spirit because I was like, you gotta help me because I don't know what I'm doing, you know. And so it really was through that partnering that the reason it was so successful. But the district took notice of that and they contacted me and they were like, hey, will you, you know, take some classes this summer and become like a technology
Melissa Lapin (54:36.195)
Right?
Beth Alexander (54:52.558)
coordinator and trainer for your campus and maybe possibly a couple other campuses, all this kind of stuff. And I was like, sure, yeah, I will do that. And so, you know, got to take some free courses and learn how to do some really good things online. And it was, yeah, and it was just one of those things that I was like, looking back, it was one of those moments that I was like, the Lord is using that because everything that, all of the trainings I went to, everything I use now for Thalia.
Melissa Lapin (55:07.155)
Cool.
Melissa Lapin (55:20.583)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (55:21.458)
everything. But anyways, we went back to, you know, everybody went back in person that next school year. And honestly, it was the hardest school year of my life. It was really, really hard. I mean, you would think it would be great because, you know, I was in a leadership position, like, I don't know, it was just, it was rough. It was hard with all the protocols and expectations and it was just...
Melissa Lapin (55:34.862)
Hmm.
Melissa Lapin (55:48.839)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (55:50.546)
I got to the point, it was in April of that school year, so April 2021. And I came home and I told him, I can't do it anymore. I'm just like done. I'm wiped out. I have zero energy left. I have zero desire to do this anymore. And he was like, maybe it's time to start Thelia. And I was like, you're funny. That's not what this is. It's not even more stressful. Like.
Melissa Lapin (56:14.247)
Hahaha
Beth Alexander (56:17.046)
You know, I was already stressed. Why are we gonna add more stress? That's silly. But anyways, he threw more conversation and stuff. We had talked about it and then he made a Facebook post and was like, Beth is thinking about doing this. Because my final excuse was like, yes, I can do this online, but who would enroll their kids? Like, I don't know. Everybody I know, their kids are in public school. Like, no one's gonna enroll their kids in this school that I...
create.
Melissa Lapin (56:46.951)
Why am I gonna have a podcast? Who's gonna wanna be on my podcast? Here I am two seasons later.
Beth Alexander (56:49.874)
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so I was like, yeah, exactly. Here we are three years later with Delia, right? Yeah. And so it was just, it was that final last ditch excuse to try and not have to admit that it was actually time, you know, because it's scary. And you're like, but it was one of those who I step out in faith and
Melissa Lapin (57:09.036)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (57:19.178)
get and be scared and possibly stressed out? Or do I stay here and just be stressed out and mad all the time? And there was good things about it, about the public school too, but it was just the point that I was like, I can't. So anyways, he made a Facebook post and was like, that's thinking about doing this. Anyways, within two hours, I had 150 something comments of like, she's gotta do this, the time is now.
Melissa Lapin (57:28.391)
Ha ha ha.
Melissa Lapin (57:47.123)
Hmm.
Beth Alexander (57:47.922)
all kinds of stuff. And so that's what it took. It took a Facebook post for me to go, okay, I'm listening. I'm starting to get it now. And so, yeah, so I ended up resigning that May. I went to my principal's office and resigned and she's like, you're doing what? We can't lose you. And I was like, well, I'm done. But anyway, she was super supportive. She was like, oh my gosh, if I had kids, you know,
Melissa Lapin (58:07.877)
Hehehehe
Beth Alexander (58:16.262)
in the grades that you're doing, I would put my kids in your school and all that kind of stuff. And so, yeah, so I, it was May 2021. I finished off the school year, but I resigned to not come back. And then I spent that summer, literally me and the Lord and just going, okay, you told me to do this. Now tell me what to do. Cause I have no idea. Like I'm doing this because you told me to. Now you have to help me.
Melissa Lapin (58:38.445)
You gotta show up. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (58:45.56)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (58:47.902)
Yeah, and so he did. He showed up big and literally just like I would sit down and I would get this download of this is you know your procedures and your protocols. Here's the overview of learning. Here's this, here's this and I would get an idea because I was like you know do I become accredited? Am I a home school? Do I do private school? Do I go to art school? Like I don't even know what kind of school.
Melissa Lapin (59:03.809)
Hmm.
Melissa Lapin (59:14.024)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (59:16.166)
am I? And all this kind of stuff. And it was crazy. I would sit down on the computer and I would just hear like what to search, you know, and I would Google search for specific answers to questions and things that I was having. And I found like the websites that were like, here's all the legal things you need to know. And it was like, like everything was already put together. It's just, I had to go like pull this piece and pull this piece and you know.
Melissa Lapin (59:25.043)
Hmm.
Beth Alexander (59:44.906)
And he was just showing me like where to pull all the pieces from and make this picture that he has of Thalia. And so it was, it was incredible because in a month and a half, I had a whole school up and ready and taking enrollment. It was crazy. I was just like, yeah, I was like, wait, what?
Melissa Lapin (01:00:03.811)
That's insane to think about that. Yeah. Cause, you know, just for the listeners who I have a lot of homeschool friends, so you guys should check out the Academy. But it's not like you just went and collected some Bob Jones curriculum and some other curriculum and kind of morphed it together. You've literally created this kingdom-based
dynamic, awesome, like I wish it was feasible for our granddaughter to live with us so that we could do this, but I'm not a homeschool mom. I'm not, I jacked up my children. I'm not going to jack up my grandkid. So, but I would like if I had kids today, I would have them in your school because of like you teach the prophetic, you teach.
Beth Alexander (01:00:44.926)
Right.
Melissa Lapin (01:01:02.427)
kingdom values and I don't not just Christian and churchy stuff it's like legit kingdom identity emotional intelligence all of the things like adult stuff and I think it's amazing so in that um because we gotta land the plane here a little bit um or start coming in for a landing
Beth Alexander (01:01:07.158)
Right.
Beth Alexander (01:01:25.481)
Thank you.
Melissa Lapin (01:01:32.039)
Tell us if you can. Trying to see how to word this.
Melissa Lapin (01:01:41.135)
What in other than just the obvious you've stated a bunch of times, just like trusting God that he's got to show up and do this. How has it made you feel? How has it changed your...
Melissa Lapin (01:02:01.403)
I can't think of the word. What do you think about yourself now? The more I do this, I'm like, I'm a badass. I can do this. You can say that too, but has it changed or it has to have? So how has it changed how you see yourself and what you're capable of? There's the question.
Beth Alexander (01:02:12.77)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:02:25.334)
Yeah, that's excellent. Yeah, so I would say first and foremost, I am very confident in who I am now and you can't shake that out of me. You just can't shake my identity anymore.
Whereas before, like how I mentioned, like when I became a Christian, I feel like I actually lost some identity. I think those things that I felt like I lost, I actually gained back because I wasn't meant to lose those pieces of who I was. And so, you know, giving myself permission to get those pieces back that I had given up and those pieces being like
Melissa Lapin (01:03:01.521)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:03:14.334)
Just walking in freedom and, you know, just being okay with, what's the right word? With being different and unique.
You know, I've always been very different from like literally everyone in my family. I don't like to say I'm the black sheep because I feel like that has a negative connotation, but I say that in the sense that I'm literally nothing like. I stand, I'm just different from everybody in my family. Um, and so I feel like for a while, I felt like I had to conform to an image.
Melissa Lapin (01:03:32.24)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (01:03:40.816)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:03:50.087)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:03:59.314)
of a pastor's wife or, you know, just, I just felt like I had to conform and become just one of the crowd and not stand out. Whereas now I'm very confident in standing out and I like to stand out and I like to be different and I like to say this is who I am and this is what I do and this is how I view things and, you know, this these are my thoughts. Yes, it is.
Melissa Lapin (01:04:05.22)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:04:10.04)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:04:15.282)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:04:23.887)
Which is entirely okay. It's good to be an individual.
Beth Alexander (01:04:29.626)
Yes. And those are the things that like, you know, that we encourage in Thalia is like, stand out, be who you're supposed to be, don't conform to what someone else says you're supposed to be, you know. But also with that, have emotional intelligence because there's that balance there. But I think for me, the biggest change is that
Melissa Lapin (01:04:50.535)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:04:57.562)
I just now have belief in myself. I have confidence in who I am. And I'm just, I don't walk in fear anymore. Whereas before I did a lot of things based out of fear of others. I did a lot of things out of fear of others. And now I'm like, I'm gonna do this because, you know, it's what I'm supposed to do. And I don't.
I just don't worry about what people think anymore. Ha ha ha.
Melissa Lapin (01:05:28.015)
Yeah, and that's a good place to be. It really is. I mean, we spend, especially in the church community, the religious community, people spend, I mean, there's so many hoops to jump through and cliques to be part of, and you know, it's just awful. And I am absolutely determined with what I do with After the Well to give people a place to just...
Beth Alexander (01:05:30.519)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:05:38.594)
We will.
Beth Alexander (01:05:42.741)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:05:56.251)
think differently and be differently and realize themselves differently. Because I just, I don't know, I hate religion. I absolutely hate religion and the boxes and the, you know, you get crucified every time you turn around, you know, you can't in one denomination, you can't in another denomination and one day God's mad at you and the next day he loves you. And you know, it's like, you can't, it's just awful.
Beth Alexander (01:06:05.774)
Thank you.
Beth Alexander (01:06:10.815)
Yeah, yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:06:22.446)
exhausting and it's like why can't we just be like why can't we just be and like yeah
Melissa Lapin (01:06:25.595)
Yeah. And let's have our own definition of what that looks like. I'm not going to be what you think I should be. You know? We need community to do that, but still healthy community. So in that, I think we could just kind of touch on it. What is, what are two things of advice, encouragement would you give to listeners?
Beth Alexander (01:06:34.534)
Right. Yeah. And that does. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:06:53.883)
What would you like to leave them with? Some nuggets.
Beth Alexander (01:06:56.827)
Yeah, I would just say, first off, allow yourself to heal, allow yourself to process things from your past. In a healthy place, make sure you're surrounded by the right people to do that so you're getting sound advice. Or even if it's just...
For me, a lot of my healing came from just me and the Lord, right, because I don't like to be vulnerable with people. How I talked about earlier, a lot of my stuff was, my encounters are in private. I've done women's conferences and stuff, and I didn't leave feeling any different because I'm like, I don't wanna get vulnerable in front of y'all. I don't wanna do that. Yeah, but there's women that they feel safe to do that, so do that.
Melissa Lapin (01:07:44.628)
Yeah, for sure. I don't either.
Beth Alexander (01:07:51.646)
I guess my first thing is take the time to really just process because the things that are from your past, everything you've walked through, the Lord can use it for a purpose. And He'll bring something good out of it when you process through it. You can always find something good in every situation.
Melissa Lapin (01:08:09.455)
Yes.
Beth Alexander (01:08:19.71)
And so for me, that was a big kind of mind shift for me, is looking back through some things, processing, getting some healing, and it really helped my mind to grow stronger, if that makes sense, like my mindset to grow stronger about who I am, and not allowing things like that to affect me anymore, because just processing through it. And then I...
Melissa Lapin (01:08:34.503)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (01:08:46.018)
This another piece of advice, I think is just to, I think step out even if it seems scary. Yeah, step out even if it seems scary. But again, don't do it alone. Step out with the partnership of Holy Spirit, guiding you or leading you. Don't just say, oh, I'm gonna step out today. Make sure it's the right time to do it.
Melissa Lapin (01:08:55.375)
Yup, gotta do it.
Melissa Lapin (01:09:06.214)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:09:12.255)
I step out and get hit by a train.
Beth Alexander (01:09:16.71)
Um, and don't feel like it has to be when you're stepping into whatever it is, like your dream, your purpose, if you're building something, if it's just stepping into a new relationship, whatever it is, don't feel like it has to all be there right away. It can, it can grow and it can take baby steps and, um,
Melissa Lapin (01:09:34.407)
That's good.
Beth Alexander (01:09:40.434)
That's something that I learned with Thalia is, of course, my dream my first year is I had a goal of 20 students. I started with eight. And at first, I was really discouraged because I was like, Well, I can't like 20. I mean, eight is exactly what I needed. Like the Lord knew, like, you would have been drowning if you had that many kids your first year, you know. And so that's something I was like, Okay, I had to step back and be like, Nope.
Melissa Lapin (01:09:57.202)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:10:03.3)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:10:09.706)
this is exactly what baby steps are good, you know, because then you can refine and you can make things excellent as you're growing and nothing falls through the cracks. And so anyways, I think, you know, step out, but don't expect it all to be there. You're going to step out and then you're going to take another step and then you're going to take another step, but each step because it's small, you're able to do it in excellence in the way that it needs to be done as well.
Melissa Lapin (01:10:19.353)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (01:10:26.311)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:10:36.527)
Well, and then that's beautiful and that's just a perfect place to land on that with the encouragement is because anybody you see doing the thing did not start at that spot. Everyone has sat here, unless they're non-believers, but have sat where you and I are right now going, God, you want me to what?
Beth Alexander (01:10:50.17)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (01:11:03.119)
You know? So, are you sure you're talking to the right human? You know? We've all been there. I don't care if you, like, I thrive on, like, high-end motivational speaker type people, like, Cynic, and they all just left me.
Beth Alexander (01:11:04.018)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:11:07.534)
Thank you.
Beth Alexander (01:11:30.66)
I don't know.
Melissa Lapin (01:11:30.671)
every name, all the people that I follow, James Clear, the Atomic Habits and like the high performing Michael Hyatt type people. They did not start out at that level. No one starts out a winner. You know, everyone's falls out of the vagina the same way. Like we all hit the ground screaming, right? And we all have to figure out our own path.
Beth Alexander (01:11:45.938)
Right.
Beth Alexander (01:11:51.95)
I'm going to go to bed.
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:11:58.511)
what works for us, what doesn't work for us. You know, we have to, and it's one of the things that we do sadly, probably around the world, I know around the world, but mainly in this country is because it's all about influencer and status. We see that, and like now, kindergartners, what do you wanna be when you grow up? I wanna be an influencer, you know? And it's like, ooh, let's start off, let's be a good adult first, right?
Beth Alexander (01:12:26.666)
Yeah, exactly.
Melissa Lapin (01:12:28.019)
You know, but we all start out and we all have to take a journey. And it's good to kind of know where you want to be a little bit down the road, but it's more important to know who you are today, where you are today, what is God saying in your life today. Because if you quote screw up today, you're going to repeat today. You know, somewhere down the line, you're still going to repeat today. And if there are people that you like,
Like I love, I want to be a public speaker. Like I said, I've spoken at a couple of retreats and stuff, but it's just kind of convert. I want to be a good public speaker. So I surround myself with speakers. You know, I don't try to imitate them. I'm like, okay, God, I see X, Y, Z in their life. What does that look like in my life? And that's how we get better. And that's how we progress.
Beth Alexander (01:13:10.926)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (01:13:19.554)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (01:13:24.223)
and getting out of the mindset and being afraid of, it's not gonna be this, you know, cause I sit here all the time. I wanna start a podcast, but I don't know how. Hit play, hit record. You gotta freaking talk in a microphone if you're gonna have a podcast. You can't call yourself a podcaster if you don't actually have a podcast. Just do it, record them. You don't have to publish them. Start talking in a microphone.
Beth Alexander (01:13:37.75)
Yeah, of course.
Melissa Lapin (01:13:50.991)
Get used to the microphone, get used to seeing yourself, get used to hearing yourself. You know, there are so many things that we can do, but we live in such fear of the judgment and of failing and all of those things. And so, best encouragement and my encouragement to y'all is just do it. Just just make sure you're hearing Holy Spirit, even if it sounds weird and you don't entirely have the whole picture, start with the piece that you do have. Take the first step, take a step.
you know, um collect people that are doing what you want to do. If you want to podcast, start hanging out with podcasters, glean from people on the internet. We have the world at our fingertips. There's no reason that you can't be doing what's in your heart. And so you gotta, you just gotta trust God and do it.
Beth Alexander (01:14:39.689)
I agree.
Beth Alexander (01:14:45.61)
Yeah. And I want to add to like, it's in your heart because the Lord has given that to you. So don't be like, wait, is, does the Lord want me to do this? If it's in your heart, then yeah, he does. Cause he's the one there.
Melissa Lapin (01:14:53.009)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:14:59.479)
Yeah. But sadly, in the Christian realm, we all think we have to be missionaries or go feed the homeless or because we don't know our metron. We don't understand that church is just a place we go hang out. You know? Being kingdom is what we do 365 days, 24 hours a day. Kingdom is who we are.
Beth Alexander (01:15:07.34)
Right.
Beth Alexander (01:15:18.07)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Alexander (01:15:24.75)
Absolutely, everyone.
Melissa Lapin (01:15:29.847)
every conversation we have, the grocery store, the gas station, the hospital, whatever. And so, yeah, I could go off on that and I'm gonna reel it in.
Beth Alexander (01:15:43.725)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:15:46.139)
have a whole nother episode. But um, yeah, so I think we'll land there. Thank you, Beth, for being on. This is fun. Yeah, and I'm looking forward to the feedback and what people have to say about your our conversation and who's going to sign up for school next year. And I would love I would love that. I would love to have a group of people here, you know, off the podcast that because I do have a lot of little homeschool.
Beth Alexander (01:15:47.49)
Hahaha
Beth Alexander (01:15:53.176)
Thank you for having me. It was awesome.
Beth Alexander (01:15:58.942)
Yeah, me too.
Beth Alexander (01:16:06.038)
I can.
Melissa Lapin (01:16:15.663)
moms I used to back in the day I was part of a homeschool co-op which is my god the things that I've done and I'm like I had no business doing that no business at all in that arena.
Beth Alexander (01:16:19.559)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:16:26.064)
Hehe
See, I needed, I needed to be around when you were, cause you know, Thalia's homeschool for parents who don't want to homeschool their kids, you know, cause parents don't have to do anything. They just sign their kids up. So.
Melissa Lapin (01:16:37.464)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:16:40.811)
I think that's great. And you go, it goes across state lines, right? Because it's just an online community. Yeah. Back when I did it, it was like, I mean, we're talking pre 2000. So yeah, and like, we met in the church and each parent taught a class I taught a what I taught Georgia history. Yeah, which was fun. I love teaching Georgia history.
Beth Alexander (01:16:48.556)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:16:58.31)
Very different.
Beth Alexander (01:17:08.738)
Nice. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (01:17:10.819)
You know, so we did that and we went like two days a week or something like that. And the rest of the time was whatever online switched on school house, you know, so it was the curriculum that we used. Um, but yeah, it's, uh, life. Life is what you make of it with Holy spirit. So, all right, my friend, thank you so much, um, for hanging out with me today. I appreciate it.
Beth Alexander (01:17:15.394)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:17:20.193)
Hahaha
Beth Alexander (01:17:28.105)
Yeah.
Beth Alexander (01:17:31.682)
There you go.
Beth Alexander (01:17:35.63)
Thank you.
Yeah, that's fun. Enjoyed it.
Melissa Lapin (01:17:40.999)
Thank you listeners for tuning in and information to be able to get a hold of DIA Academy will be in the show notes so you can go there. It's really just with DIAacademy.com but you can go to the show notes and get it too. We'll have a link there. Yeah, that's all for now. We look forward to hanging out with you in the next episode. Bye.
Beth Alexander (01:18:10.907)
So that was fun. It was a really good conversation.