Melissa Lapin (00:08.775)
Hi everybody. Welcome to this episode of After the Well. And today I am glad to have my friend Fernanda back on here. And we were chatting beforehand and I'm like, uh, let's just hit record because we're already talking some good stuff and dropping some, some really good encouragement. And so Fernanda, thank you for being here again with me on the podcast.
Melissa Lapin (00:38.907)
It is we never lack for good things to talk about.
Melissa Lapin (00:47.255)
So, let's just jump in with the fullness. And we were talking beforehand that our, you know, just catching up a little bit, but how our lives are just really full right now. And the statement that you made that it's not about busyness, but it's full. And it's full of things that you've prayed for. So just.
Fernanda (00:59.298)
Ha ha!
Fernanda (01:11.51)
You're welcome. Thank you for having me. It's always fun chatting with you.
Melissa Lapin (01:15.255)
take it away and let's talk about that because that was that was a beautiful way to say that, you know, because we pray for things and a lot of times we end up griping or complaining and we're overwhelmed and we just we want to quit and we want to give up this or that or you know, whatever. And then we never stop to think, oh, this is what I prayed for.
Fernanda (01:21.466)
Indeed, my friend.
Fernanda (01:39.19)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (01:43.255)
Producing, yeah, and just producing whatever it is. We're doing the thing.
Fernanda (01:49.717)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Fernanda (01:55.896)
Thank you.
Melissa Lapin (01:59.796)
Well, because you homeschool too, right? You homeschool?
Fernanda (02:09.07)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (02:13.547)
Mm-hmm, which we'll talk about too. I want everybody to hear about your business too, so yeah.
Fernanda (02:15.07)
Yes, because we get so trapped in just us looking at the circumstances. Yes.
Fernanda (02:26.834)
Yes. So life is full. But like I said, I just there's some days that it's just, it's so full. And it's exhausting. There's nothing wrong with that. Oh, yes. I homeschooled three kids, two in middle school, one in elementary. And I just started my business. So I never owned a business before. Yes.
I just started a business and actually working and doing all the social media and content and being a wife and a mom and being involved in a church, being leadership in a mentorship program that, oh, it's so cool. I want to talk to you about this too. So it's just, it's very full. In some days there's this little temptation to just complain about it. I just want to have a break.
wish I had nothing going on this week. And then one day I stopped and I was like, why would I complain about if all the things that I have going on right now are things that I actually pray for? You know, I pray for this family. I pray to homeschool. I pray about this business. I pray that I, you know, to have a rich, fulfilling marriage and to be mentoring people and be involved in my community, like literally everything I have going on.
Melissa Lapin (03:50.455)
Hmm.
Fernanda (03:56.338)
are things that I pray for. So that was a shift for me. You know, it was Holy Spirit reminding me of, it's about the perspective that we have on things, you know? And that has really changed the way I even talk about it. Instead of saying, I'm so busy, I was like, this week is very full, or my life, this season is very full. Because when I talk about being busy, and busyness in general,
Melissa Lapin (04:15.628)
Hmm.
Melissa Lapin (04:19.199)
Ha ha!
Fernanda (04:24.25)
in my mind it goes straight to lack. It's like I'm busy, life is happening to me and I can't grasp into whatever I need, you know, because it's so busy. And when I think about my life is full, it goes back to the fullness, you know, like you mentioned the fullness of God, the fullness of so many seeds that I have planted before and now I'm harvesting.
Melissa Lapin (04:28.247)
God, that's just so good. I mean, there's...
just understanding the revelation of that. And in what I was talking about, the Dan McCollum, when I mentioned the Dan McCollum, for those of you who are listening, if you don't know Dan McCollum, he's a prophetic teacher, there was a conference this weekend called Voice of the Prophets 2024. And in his message, he was talking about the prophetic and hearing God and partnering with God.
Fernanda (04:53.27)
So yes, it's full, it's a full harvest. So I'm working on linking in a different way and even using different language how to describe my life right now.
Melissa Lapin (05:04.055)
mention and just circling back around to what you said about the revelation of that fullness. When he talked about Elijah and Elisha that Elijah's when Elijah said to Elisha, you know, if you see me when I'm going, you get the double portion. And Jewish scholars have basically all come to an agreement. That what that is saying is when you see
Fernanda (05:16.688)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (05:33.659)
like I see, then you get double of what I've got. You know, not just okay, I'm gonna keep my eye on you. So, you know, and I see you riding off into the sunset. But you and then we try to mimic people and stuff like that. No, it's like getting that revelation, that truth. And I've always said this. I'm not always but for a very, very long time.
Fernanda (05:58.198)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (06:03.175)
because our society and especially now with social media, we are plugged with comparison because of everything that we see on social media. Because people put the good stuff on social media. You know, I mean now like for the last couple years, you know, like whatever Alicia Keys is not wearing makeup and you know, so you got some other people, well I'm not going to wear makeup either and all they're doing is copying, you know, and so
when we just copy people without really understanding the revelation of their why, I think we miss out on that fullness. You know, like the whole what, and I'm trying to gather my thoughts because I'm having a revelation of what you're saying because what you've shared has literally
Fernanda (06:52.009)
Yeah.
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (07:01.171)
that just done something in my heart too, because just like you, I'm stepping into my own for the first time. I've always been someone's sidekick. You know, I've always supported someone else's ministry. I've always busted my ass to help other people do their thing. And if probably about five years ago, God, God told me, he said, stop being a sidekick. And I'm like,
Fernanda (07:08.398)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (07:21.429)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (07:27.711)
good at it, you know, and he's like, No, you're hiding it. He told me I was hiding it. I was hiding and being a sidekick. So that's a word dropping for somebody right there. But seeing that revelation that you got that this fullness right now I am sitting in my fullness to because these are things that God when do I get to have a voice? Girl, I've had this my
second season of a podcast, I am living in the fullness of what I've prayed for. And the things that I have sought and cried out for. And having that perspective, like you said, of, I'm so busy, there's so much on my calendar, right? And instead of just like, oh my god, these are the things I prayed for.
Fernanda (08:07.31)
Thank you.
Fernanda (08:11.118)
Yes.
Fernanda (08:26.158)
Hmm.
Melissa Lapin (08:40.505)
Hahaha
Fernanda (08:40.983)
Yes.
Fernanda (08:52.045)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (08:57.223)
Oh my God, yes.
Fernanda (08:59.778)
Yeah, yes. And you're saying this and I'm just like holding back tears because what is coming to my mind and this might be a word for somebody. So I'm thinking about when we are, at least when I was a younger version of myself, newlywed and dreaming about the family, building a family.
Melissa Lapin (09:13.178)
Hmm.
Fernanda (09:25.334)
and just praying for the family and just dreaming. And then the kids come and then we sit around and cry and complain because you can't sleep and then you're like, you don't have a break. You don't have me time and the kids are crazy and they're running around and they're making a destruction. It's a mess. And then we start complaining and crying. And just, and we forget that in that moment,
Melissa Lapin (09:31.072)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (09:41.352)
Right. For sure.
Fernanda (09:55.038)
when our dreams are actually coming true, when you're reaping the harvest for the things that you sow and you pray before, that's when we lose so much of it because we're just complaining and not seeing the fullness. We're just seeing the lack, the lack of time, the lack of sleep, the lack of this. And I don't wanna say that those things are not real. They are very real, you know? It is very.
Melissa Lapin (10:03.031)
Hmm.
Fernanda (10:20.178)
raising little ones, it's brutal. It takes a lot. But if we just sit and complain, and I wish I could say this to myself years ago, just sitting and complaining and crying about how hard your life is right now, it is not honoring the harvest that you have in front of you. And going through the harvest, going through the fullness,
Melissa Lapin (10:23.191)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (10:42.099)
Well, yeah, there's a lot that goes into harvest. Yeah, because you got to think about, okay, you got all this stuff, what are you going to do with it? Who gets it? How much of it? When do you harvest it? Because some things need to be harvested at nighttime. People don't know that. Potatoes should be harvested at night, but they're not.
Fernanda (10:46.726)
It is a lot of work. I think somewhere in our minds, we just dream like that romantic idea of how the harvest is gonna be. Think about the farmers, you know, how much work is there harvest? And a lot of times they hire extra people to help with the harvest. So the sewing, it's not so pretty. The waiting, it's not so pretty. The harvest looks beautiful. You know, the fields are full.
Melissa Lapin (11:04.97)
Right.
Fernanda (11:15.986)
And then we forget that there's actually collecting the fruits.
Melissa Lapin (11:20.335)
Here's the thought that I just had talking with that too, just the harvest isn't for us either. There's only so much of that harvest that you can... girl, this is gonna preach. There's only so much of that harvest that you could... I mean yeah, you can have your little planner garden and that's just for you, but if you are a farmer, agriculturally...
Fernanda (11:31.039)
Yes.
Fernanda (11:35.714)
Yes.
And you have to invest and sometimes you have to hire more people and sometimes, you know, it's a lot of work. It is a lot of work. And I'm sure the farmers are not sitting in the middle of the field crying saying, this is so much work. I don't want to do this anymore. You know, it's just, we have to learn that this is the price we pay for the harvest.
Melissa Lapin (11:47.483)
it's not possible for you to keep all of your own produce and grain and anything that you that you plant and harvest. It is made to go elsewhere so then you have to understand you. You have to understand your product or quote your harvest and who's going to be the buyer of that? Who's going to be on the recipient end of that? And so if we don't understand who we are and our why
Fernanda (12:05.363)
Yeah, I know it's not.
Fernanda (12:09.802)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (12:16.647)
why we're doing the thing and what we're created to do. Right? So you're the mom, you've prayed for those kids. Right? And if you don't steward your why, okay, being a mom and why are you a mom? Cause you wanted your mom to be a mom and all of that. And you don't do it with gratitude, that's gonna mess up your kids. Right? And any, like any of those things, when our perspective.
Fernanda (12:17.014)
So yeah.
Fernanda (12:22.658)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (12:46.124)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (12:47.187)
Yeah, far perspective isn't right.
Fernanda (13:01.015)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (13:11.295)
No, you're racing for the future.
Yeah.
Fernanda (13:17.802)
Yeah. And yes, and that's new over.
Yeah, this is a very, it's a very good point what you said. We don't plant the whole field just for us. The purpose is beyond. Yes, you might keep some, you know, but it's to sell, it's to give away, it's whatever is what you're planting, you know. It's the same thing with the kids. It's just not for us. We're not raising kids for us. We, I'm raising for the kingdom, you know. I'm raising for...
Melissa Lapin (13:54.358)
Yeah.
Fernanda (13:54.722)
this world for them, you know, for I can come with a whole list of things while I'm raising that are not for me. Yes, there is a personal, it's something that happened for me and with me. And it's part of my history that it is personal. But it's for beyond me. That's what is a legacy is the kids stop right here. I mean, you know, there's a whole legacy that goes beyond me. And the same thing with the farmers, you know, they're not doing.
Melissa Lapin (13:57.587)
Yeah, that's so yeah, that's God. That's so good. I mean, it really is. And we can circle back around for those listening that want scripture proof Proverbs 31 woman, the stuff she did, she didn't do for herself, she did to make for her family and the clothes and take things to the market and, you know,
provide for her family and bless the community and all of those things. So there's their scripture reference to make this illegal podcast.
Fernanda (14:23.99)
that just for that. And that changed the vision. That changed how you show up. That changed how you act because it's just not for you. So that was good.
Melissa Lapin (14:34.131)
Oh my goodness, that's, I mean, that's so, that's so good. So in this fullness, let's circle back, because I really wanted to have you on to let people know the opportunity that they could have to work with you, you know, when you have space for more clients and things like that. So.
Fernanda (14:48.992)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (14:52.417)
Oh yeah.
Melissa Lapin (14:58.811)
this is a fairly new thing. You've actually started taking clients back around Thanksgiving, maybe? Earth first of the year? When did you... Yeah. And so tell us what that looks like and the mentorship that you went through. And yeah, just kind of bring us up to date. Because you were one of my first people on the podcast and I love it. So there's going to be a yearly update for anybody who wants to know. At least a yearly. She might become on more, but...
Fernanda (15:05.078)
Hahaha
Fernanda (15:09.879)
Oh, that's funny. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (15:30.357)
Yeah.
Fernanda (15:32.023)
The end.
Fernanda (15:42.442)
Yes, you're correct. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (15:49.896)
Does anyone?
Melissa Lapin (15:55.962)
Hahaha
Fernanda (15:58.538)
Yeah.
Fernanda (16:03.39)
When I came last time, we talked a lot about my season of the sickness, you know, when I was so sick and what God did in my heart during that season. And when that ended, I had that nudge of there's something else. My whole life, I always knew there was something else. I went to school for not really for what I needed to go to school for.
Fernanda (16:31.262)
I don't know, but I certainly did it. And it was not even something that I could transfer and do here in America. You know, for those that are listening to know me, I was born and raised in Brazil. When she's schooled there, the college there, and then later as my late twenties, I came to America. So it was just, um, I always had the little voice, the Holy Spirit voice in my head.
which was, it was my calling that what, who he created me to be is just to help people to untangle a lot of internal things. And last year, actually, end of 2022, I was like, 2023 is the year that I'm going to decide if I'm going to pursue something else or close the door. Because I didn't want to be like 83 years old, like, should I go back?
If I was gonna go back to school it had to be now, you know And so I went and started praying and talking to people and I had this Meeting with a friend and she was a counselor and she just kind of helped me to lay it out everything in front of me And kind of say I know you I have done some ministry with you This is not what you're looking for. This is a good route. She really helped me to figure things out and um
that was helpful because then I knew like I have to pursue something and she looked at me in the end and she said I really think you should consider life coaching because what you're really looking for is just something to validate you for something you have been doing for years already you know so I decided to pursue that and last year I entered a coaching certification like Christian life coach certification I started in August
I finished in December and by the end of November, I already had clients. I started with some free clients to just get experience and then quickly I got one client and another client and then in January I already had four clients and then February I had eight clients and then March I had 10 clients. I ended up with 12 clients at once. And...
Fernanda (18:59.106)
Was I didn't do much about it. I just went show up put my face on social media and said Hey, I'm doing this thing and a lot of people that already knew me from ministry from My inner healing ministry before all the things I did in the previous years. They that's they were my first clients and It has been really Really really cool to see what God is doing. I am
Melissa Lapin (19:07.443)
That's so good. That's so good. And because I've done it as well, not the same life coaching program, but understanding from what you've told me, you know, the program.
It isn't like you just answer a couple questions or, you know, check the boxes and they give you a certificate, which there are those programs out there. 24 hours, you can be a life coach. Just give me your money and I'll give you your certificate, basically.
Fernanda (19:27.702)
blown away because the vision that he gave me, I didn't know how to make it happen, but he kept guiding me every step of the way, you know, and I am, this goes back into the fullness. I'm living the fullness. My life is full, for sure.
Melissa Lapin (19:42.199)
Uh huh. Yeah, yeah, it's just it's crazy. Um, you know, but I know you actually went through some stuff. I mean, it was intense for you to do that. And just processing and because when I did mine, that's what it was mine was like a two year program.
Fernanda (19:52.866)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (20:07.554)
Yeah. They are this program.
Melissa Lapin (20:08.071)
I mean, there was like a break time over the summertime, but doing that and because I don't think you can require someone things of someone that you haven't gone through yourself, you know, and I know that so and I'm saying that so that people will know and understand that you didn't just get a certificate, you got training and like an education and
Fernanda (20:16.158)
Oh, I saw one that was like, pay $27 and you get certified.
Fernanda (20:23.808)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (20:38.695)
you know, just some rails to run on with your with your program and what you do. Do you have a website and stuff yet or are you? Okay, awesome.
Fernanda (20:57.756)
Oh yes, yes.
Melissa Lapin (21:06.439)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (21:23.965)
Yeah.
Fernanda (21:27.326)
My website is almost ready. I just, things happen so fast. It's funny because in our program, yes, what you're just saying, like we need to go through, yes. One of the things they say over and over again is that we go first. As coaches, we go first. We deal with our stuff first and then we can help our clients. So it has been very, it's, I went through.
It's like I was having my own coaching and we coach each other in our group too. So anyway, it was a lot we went through in those months. But, um, and they kept saying like, you just have to get started. You don't need much to get started. You know, you don't need fancy things. And I was like, I realized in this whole thing of I go first, how much I use perfectionism to buffer.
Melissa Lapin (22:01.979)
Everybody does. We all do it. I just had a conversation this morning. I have another friend who's she's a professional count. She professional counselor. I think she does some kind of counseling. Um, and she wants to do that neuro art thing where you make all the squiggles and then you color in the divergent art or something. It's called I can't remember what it's called
Fernanda (22:22.382)
from things that I should be doing. I was like, I can't start coaching right now because I don't have a website, I don't have a Zoom membership, I don't have this. And it just made me see like how much, like I use this as an excuse all the time for so many reasons. Yes.
Melissa Lapin (22:28.179)
When she's and I asked her, I said, Hey, so when's the class? And she's like, Oh, okay. I hear you. I'll make a class, you know, cause she was like, and we had this whole conversation about, you know, she was waiting for this or waiting for that. And I'm like, dude, don't ask me what day I'm available. You make it happen and people will show up. And that's the one thing I'm learning too. Like my coach, um, with the, after the well, uh, workshop and
coaching and things. I've got all this pretty stuff set up in my Kajabi. I've got landing pages, I've got packages, I've got content, and she's like, when are we gonna see this? And I'm like, I don't know. And I'm like, well, I've got all this stuff happening in May. And she's like, and? And I'm like, but... And she's like, you can stop button. I want by the end of the day...
Fernanda (23:12.397)
Laughter
Fernanda (23:22.402)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Melissa Lapin (23:25.287)
Like she said this to me two weeks ago, she's like, by the end of the day, I want you to tell me, I want you to pick a day and tell me what it is. Like, damn, okay. And so I did, I had to. It
Fernanda (23:40.033)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (23:48.662)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (23:52.372)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (23:55.837)
Thanks for watching.
Fernanda (23:56.307)
Yes.
Fernanda (24:00.479)
Yes.
Fernanda (24:09.13)
Yes, absolutely. We all buffer. Yeah. And I buffer a lot. And, but going through it first, I had to face it. You know, I didn't have a choice, but face it like, this is going to stop me from showing up in the world how I want to show up, fulfilling the gift that God gave me, like being that person who He created me to be, if I don't stop buffering.
Melissa Lapin (24:24.672)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (24:30.295)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (24:37.463)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (24:38.418)
I need to stop buffering. So I was like, I'm just gonna put it out there. I'm taking, I don't remember, I think it was two or three free clients. And they came. And then I just, somebody asked me, are you taking official clients? I was like, yes. How much? I was like, let me tell you tomorrow. So I had that one to figure out how much I wanted to charge. And then I said, okay, how much? Okay, how do I sign up? And I like...
Melissa Lapin (24:45.451)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (24:51.265)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (24:57.287)
Yeah, yeah, I have a. Yeah, go ahead.
Fernanda (25:06.046)
It just kept happening. So it's not like I sat and I just planned and had these big dreams and it's gonna be this pretty thing. It happened so fast and I had to learn to make it happen without being perfect, without being pretty, without being ideal and clients kept coming, which it showed me it wasn't about how professional it was. It was about how people really need help and I was available to help.
Melissa Lapin (25:15.275)
Very cool.
Fernanda (25:36.354)
And as I kept moving forward, I kept adding things. So I got the Zoom subscription and I got an amazing landing page that is for coaches that organize, it's just like having a virtual assistant. All the payments, scheduling, all my packages are in that one page and that saved my booty, because it saved so much time. Instead of having to schedule one-on-one, I would just send the link.
Melissa Lapin (25:41.472)
Very cool.
Yeah, yeah. You know, and the same thing with me. People just get excited about something I'm saying. I'm not even like selling or you know, that I'm just talking and, and people get excited and ask me, well, do you have do you have a website? Or do you have this? Do you have a program or da da? And I'm like, No, you know, and then I'm actually I have a I have a
Fernanda (26:04.694)
So slowly I kept adding things that were making my life easier and starting to invest and back in my business just now. So that's just circle back and say, soon my website will be ready. It just ended up being the back of the list of everything else.
Melissa Lapin (26:13.539)
an intercessor group that are there's like 12 or 15 people on it that pray for me, right, they've committed to pray for me regularly. And we don't like meat officially or anything like that. It's just a messenger group that I've invited people to and I'll throw something out there and if they get prophetic words, they'll throw them in the group, you know, had several people like, Hey, I had a dream about you last night that this will happen. And then other people start commenting. It's really cool. And it's helped me a lot. But anyway, I was like,
Fernanda (26:33.003)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (26:43.487)
Um, you know, my thing is, and part of it too, and I think this can be for someone, we have such a hard time for some of us because we have lived, some of it is that comparison, oh, I'm not as good as so and so because we see these people out there with these programs, but you got to think they started somewhere too. You know, they started at the bottom,
Fernanda (26:44.45)
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (27:13.403)
a team of 10 people marketing and all of these things. And so when it's just you sitting at your kitchen table with your laptop, it is daunting. It is overwhelming to think that you could even remotely compete with what we see on social media. So there's that whole comparison monster.
But then there's also like for me, walking through this whole process personally of starting after the well and getting a workshop together and creating coaching package, like a one-time coaching package and I've created a 16 week course that I'm gonna launch after that. And for me, it's a lifetime of rejection. Why are you doing that? You can't do that, you're dumb. You know like,
Fernanda (27:46.371)
Yes.
Fernanda (27:56.302)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (28:07.899)
not even just me comparing myself to people that I see doing things like things that have been said to me, you know, that are that have taken root. And every now and then I'll pull up something like, okay, yeah, that's still there. Boom, let's get rid of that. But, you know, there were the rejection, you know, like, I'm going to create this, but who's going to show up? You know,
Fernanda (28:11.512)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (28:34.507)
And so circling back around to the intercession group, I put it on there and I had three people contact me. They're like, I don't see him sign up link. Like, dude, it's not even live yet. May 1st, we're good, you know? That's three days from now. Oh crap.
Fernanda (28:41.878)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (28:53.245)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (28:58.095)
It's fixing to get real for me, you guys. I don't know when this podcast will air, but dang.
Melissa Lapin (29:07.215)
I don't know, man. I just got emotional all kinds of quick. But yeah, you know, and I'm just like, it's coming. It's coming. But no, like, it's coming. Like, he's here. Like three days from now. May 1. It is going to be launched. And if I take people's money that I got to deliver, you know, and so it's really caused me to and I love just and
Fernanda (29:20.79)
Thank you.
Fernanda (29:31.534)
I just realized.
Melissa Lapin (29:36.731)
If you need SEO words, fullness is a good word because that comes up. Usefulness a lot when you talk. But the fullness of who I am. Cannot be appreciated. My fullness cannot be harvested unless I let other people into my field. Oh, that'll preach to you now.
Fernanda (29:41.456)
Why? Do we need some coaching right now?
Fernanda (29:49.271)
Yes!
Fernanda (29:54.79)
It's here. It is here. It's upon you.
Melissa Lapin (30:03.607)
I have to be vulnerable. If I'm gonna require vulnerability of other people, if I'm gonna encourage other people to dream, I've got to dream. Because I'm going to be as authentic as I can be. And I cannot, yeah, I have to. I cannot ask you to do something that I am not willing to do myself. That to me is the ultimate hypocrisy.
Fernanda (30:07.473)
Yeah.
Fernanda (30:20.226)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (30:29.799)
if I'm going to sit and encourage you and even if it's even if it's a good thing, you know, like I'm not asking you to kill somebody asking you to be the best you, you know, and then I'm sitting here with a computer full of content that I can't hit go on.
Fernanda (30:38.978)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Melissa Lapin (30:48.351)
because of a lie that I'm believing that's keeping me from living my fullness. Ooh, girl, this is a good episode. I'm gonna have to listen to it again. Girl, we do.
Fernanda (30:49.758)
Yes.
Fernanda (30:55.326)
and you go first.
Fernanda (30:59.82)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (31:06.306)
Yes.
Fernanda (31:13.774)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (31:18.42)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (31:24.421)
Mm, that's so good too, yes.
Fernanda (31:24.884)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (31:29.794)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (31:34.334)
Yes, but you know, it is, this is so good. It's like we're preaching at each other, you know, to each other, for each other. But you know, going back to the comparison, one of the things that I had to face it, besides the, you know, buffering, it was I'm the one that gets to decide what is success. So.
Melissa Lapin (31:35.767)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (31:56.063)
Hmm, that's good.
Fernanda (32:04.142)
I kept thinking like, how am I gonna know if that was like, how is that, how am I gonna know if that was a good coaching session? You know, that was the fear speaking. You know, what if I'm not good? And I was like, hold on, I get to decide. If I show up as my best, if I let Holy Spirit lead me, because my sessions are Holy Spirit led, if I'm open, if I show up, if I create a safe space, so I went through a list in my mind, what does it mean to have a good session?
Melissa Lapin (32:14.988)
Mm. Yup.
Melissa Lapin (32:28.928)
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Fernanda (32:33.886)
And that gave me the confidence that like, I can do all those things. I can be safe. I can be open. I can listen to Holy Spirit, you know, I, and then I determined this is what is going to be a good session. It is not if my client is happy because I can do my best and they can still not receive it. So I was the one that had to determine. And then I went to the next question. How do I determine if my business has been successful?
Melissa Lapin (32:35.637)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (32:38.995)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (32:46.233)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (32:56.531)
Well, and it's that it's not even just if we're we have a business or whatever. I mean, that right there is good advice for any area of our life. What does it look like for me to be a successful mom? What does it look like for me to be? How do I define a successful marriage? How do I define financial success? You know, what is the fullness of that look like? Is it?
Fernanda (33:02.598)
I went through the same list. What does it mean success to me? Not to you, not to people on social media. And that helped me to step out in courage because all of that depending on me, depending on how I was showing up. So it was very valuable lesson to think about I'm in charge of those.
Melissa Lapin (33:26.255)
having a five million dollar house and plenty of money to pay for it or whatever. But we don't, we just aren't taught as a society how to do that, especially by the church, I don't think, to, you know, we're told you need to find your calling. What does that look like? You know, that's the church focus on that. You're calling, you're calling, you're calling. When some people
Fernanda (33:32.53)
standards.
Fernanda (33:47.639)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (33:51.709)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (33:55.583)
bed every day. And so and that's part of part of my message with After the Well and the intent of, you know, the workshop that's launching in two days, it's still blowing my mind, is that Jesus is in the everyday. And that's the core of my message, is Jesus is in my everyday.
Fernanda (33:57.58)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (34:20.917)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (34:24.813)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (34:25.523)
She was going to the well to get water. That was an everyday task. She wasn't at synagogue. She wasn't doing all these fancy things. She wasn't throwing a party. She wasn't at a revival. She wasn't at a conference. She was getting a drink of water. And we make so much more out of our relationship with God than it has to be. We put all of these stipulations on it, in it, and around it.
Fernanda (34:36.606)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (34:56.775)
and almost to the point where
Fernanda (34:56.886)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (35:00.443)
we wake up one day and go, how did I get here? Because we didn't acknowledge God through the whole process, right?
Fernanda (35:06.314)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (35:12.123)
Yeah, it... because it doesn't have to be perfect. We just have to engage. Yeah.
Fernanda (35:18.867)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (35:35.051)
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
path, yeah. Yeah, just keep talking. We're good. Audio is good.
Fernanda (35:44.716)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (35:48.051)
Yeah, I still hear you, so we're good.
Fernanda (35:54.698)
No, it doesn't. It doesn't. Yes, and often I have this vision that comes to me and sometimes it's for myself or sometimes when I'm talking to my clients. It's like you're gonna start a trail in the middle of the woods, you know, a hike. You have to create the trail yourself. I think I might have a... Yes. And what God does... Okay.
Melissa Lapin (36:08.844)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (36:13.963)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Fernanda (36:22.526)
Yeah, my camera is gone. I don't know what happened. but
Melissa Lapin (36:27.519)
Yeah. Well.
Fernanda (36:28.402)
It's like God give you all the tools that you need and he put you right in front of the path, you know? And he opens that just enough for you to see in front of you. And then sometimes I see that it's like, we stand in front of the path and was like, oh no, I'm just gonna walk down that path if everything is clear, if all the branches are moved out of the way, if I have the exact stepping stone and direction, and that's not how it works. This is not how life works. We might have a vision where we wanna go.
Melissa Lapin (36:33.397)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (36:39.724)
Yeah, it's creating that constant connection with Jesus. I mean, because back in the day, like the woman at the well, you really had to go at least once a day to get water. You might, I mean, if you're a single person and you had a big jug, you might go twice, you know? I mean, once every two days or something. But...
Fernanda (36:56.53)
and he'll put right in front of it and as we walk, he'll go clearing the path. So it's not, the path is not perfect. But it's this partnership that we have with God that creates the way.
Melissa Lapin (37:05.999)
It's a daily thing. Give us this day our daily bread. And our relationship with Holy Spirit is that map. Because any good hiker is not going to start out on a trail if they don't know where that trail goes. That's no reason to not go on that trail.
Fernanda (37:12.734)
And that's what you're doing in three days.
Fernanda (37:30.73)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Melissa Lapin (37:31.563)
but finding out information first and then trusting the map and then walking. And that's what we need to do. It's like when we want that fullness in life, we have to understand ourselves, we have to understand our why. And then how do we partner that with Holy Spirit to go, okay, what does today look like? How do I?
Fernanda (37:47.892)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (37:59.083)
get to the fullness of this desire.
Fernanda (38:03.136)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (38:04.791)
co-laboring with you. Right? Instead of this whole sitting around waiting on God, waiting on God, no, that's, I'm so tired of that. And I know we hear it all the time, especially in church. Just wait on the Lord. I'm waiting on the Lord. Okay, see ya, cuz I'm not waiting. You're gonna be sitting there by yourself cuz, you know, it's just crazy.
Fernanda (38:28.298)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (38:35.618)
Oh, for sure.
Fernanda (38:35.83)
Yes.
Fernanda (38:45.418)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (38:51.242)
Yeah.
Fernanda (38:56.64)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (38:57.387)
But we do, God, we do it so much, you know? And to me, it doesn't even, I don't even know, because even being led, somebody who's being led is move. They're moving, there's movement in that statement, you know? And we're told to go into the world. We're told, you know, there's so many of like, when we break down the word studies, so much of scripture is,
Fernanda (39:00.202)
Yes.
Fernanda (39:06.422)
But you see, that sounds so beautiful and so spiritual, but it's another way to buffer. I'm not gonna do anything towards what God has put in my heart, in my dreams, or what He's calling me to do. I'm just gonna sit here because I'm waiting on the Lord. And there is an element of truth that we wanna be led by Him, but we cannot use that as a poor excuse to not do what we need to be doing.
Melissa Lapin (39:28.091)
How's it say I'm not a super good grammar person Breaking it down, but it's like they're like Current active verbs like so much of our scripture is Is movement because we're not supposed to be Stagnant You know, there's life every breath we have every movement is Life giving you know
Fernanda (39:36.343)
Well, we do.
Fernanda (39:56.171)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (39:58.295)
And for us to just sit around not doing anything because we're quote waiting on the Lord is bad, as well as having the perspective of, you know, just the, the wrong, I guess wrong perspective would be okay, of not having gratitude for, and seeing the fullness, seeing our thing. I'm just messed up right now because I can't.
Fernanda (40:24.32)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (40:28.999)
I got so many thoughts in my head. But the, we talked about the fullness when we were complaining and we're not grateful for that and we see it and we're burdened. Oh, I got to give up. And I understand. Okay, so don't hear what we're not saying. We are not talking about poor time management and having all this stuff in your life. Even if your life is very full and you recognize that, oh my God, these are the things I've prayed for. There is still.
Fernanda (40:33.502)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (40:58.363)
responsibility in time management and structuring and prioritizing and because you have to you have to steward that you have to you know you're not going to overwater a field right you've got to pay attention to how much water when you water when you fertilize you know do i need to do anything with it right now okay this is step one of this i'm in the fullness of this but you know it
Fernanda (41:03.662)
I'm going to go to bed.
Fernanda (41:08.478)
Yes.
Fernanda (41:15.01)
Yes. Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (41:28.615)
I don't know, I'm a gardener, I have lots of plants, and if you play with plants too much, they die. You know? And so there's a balance to all of it. You can't keep pulling a plant out of the ground to see if it's growing. No, you know it by its fruit. You know, girl, I had a friend that did that, that we planted a garden together. Yeah, I can't even go there about this woman.
Fernanda (41:46.381)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (41:56.623)
but it would be very honoring. But we planted this garden like literally we got a tiller. I mean it was long it was like big it was like 30 feet long and about 15-20 feet wide. I mean like we had rows like we were gardening right? No pots, no nothing. We were gardening.
Fernanda (42:11.898)
Yes, let's do it.
Melissa Lapin (42:16.403)
She came over, because it was at my house, and she came over and I looked out the window and she's out there pulling weeds one day. And I'm like, what are you doing? And she goes, I'm pulling all this green stuff. Oh my God. The things I said to her. It's like, I had to ask forgiveness because I'm like...
Fernanda (42:21.148)
Yes.
Fernanda (42:27.978)
Real?
Fernanda (42:34.827)
Hahaha
Melissa Lapin (42:42.699)
those are our plants. What do you mean? They're green little weeds. I'm like, those are not weeds. She had no clue about gardening, but she went all up in that field and she was pulling. And so understanding, that would be a good segue to understanding community and partnership, because we can't just go willy-nilly pulling everything because, hey, she pulled our fruit potential.
Fernanda (43:16.599)
No.
Melissa Lapin (43:25.29)
Yeah.
Fernanda (43:32.142)
for you.
Melissa Lapin (43:40.311)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (43:46.603)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (43:50.338)
Yes, it's true. Well, there's so much we can talk about all of this and just the patience that comes also in this process. The process and the trust, you know, there's so much of the behind the scenes that we often don't think about when we think about the pretty harvest or doing the things we want to do. It's just there's so much, so much behind.
Melissa Lapin (43:57.75)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (44:11.595)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (44:19.03)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (44:20.562)
and so much that happens inside of us. I often think, and when I think about the season that I was sick, the healing was what I wanted. What I didn't expect, it's all the work that happened inside of me in that season of waiting for the healing, or not even waiting because I was actively doing things for my healing, but just the patience.
Melissa Lapin (44:31.799)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (44:38.199)
Absolutely we don't until you know there are fortunate souls that can look back in you know hindsight and go oh I get it this is what but wouldn't it be a more beautiful thing to know ahead of time and have an expectancy from God.
Fernanda (44:50.126)
how much I grew, how much I got closer to God, just in that season. So it is not just the end goal of this is my business, this is the ministry that I waited so long, this is the end of the trail, but is the journey. The journey is that to me, it's one of the biggest gifts.
Melissa Lapin (45:07.375)
as you know as children as queens and kings of the kingdom to understand our inheritance not walk around all cocky with a religious attitude and entitlement you know but just understanding
Fernanda (45:15.478)
that we often don't even see.
Melissa Lapin (45:26.483)
My God owns the cattle on a thousand hills and the hills, and I have access to that. I went through this season where God and I went round in circles and it was mostly my fault. Because God's always right. So when we try to argue with God.
Fernanda (45:30.035)
Oh yeah.
Fernanda (45:45.142)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (45:53.611)
Yeah, it's usually our issue. But I just kept having this conversation. Actually it wasn't a conversation really. It was the cry of my heart for a season until it became reality through my own healing. And I do believe it was around the same time that I was doing this, my life coach course and walking through this process and kind of...
Fernanda (46:02.856)
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (46:13.024)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (46:23.655)
I hate the word deconstructing, but getting a better structure around my faith and my theology and of, you know, because a lot of people talk about, and this is just my story, not throwing shade on anything, but you know, just a lot of people just talk about redemption, and you know, we're sinners and we just all need to be redeemed and stuff like that. I understand that.
Fernanda (46:29.147)
Usually it is their fault.
Melissa Lapin (46:53.703)
you know, changing our perspective on how we see God in us and see ourselves and who we are and stuff. But my cry was the and it's still the cry of my heart to God, I want I, I don't want to live a life of redemption that you constantly having to redeem me from things and quote saving me, you know.
I want to live a life of, what was the word? Just totally lost my train of thought.
Melissa Lapin (47:32.319)
Da da da.
of favor. I don't want to live a life of constantly being bailed out of stuff. That's not what God does.
Melissa Lapin (47:49.219)
He can and he will, but he is in the business of favor, of handing out gifts, not get out of jail free cards. You know? That's how we look at God. That we live our life. Oh man, I messed up. Can I have a do-over? And he's like, you wouldn't have had to have a do-over had you spent a little more time understanding our relationship.
Fernanda (48:16.077)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (48:19.915)
you know, does that make sense? And so I think we just, and I really had a point in there and I lost it. I really did. It's cool. So if you have anything to say about that, save me, Fernanda.
Melissa Lapin (48:46.025)
Yes.
Fernanda (48:56.462)
Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes, I understand.
Fernanda (49:07.526)
You can come back, you can come back.
Melissa Lapin (49:15.433)
Right.
Fernanda (49:15.626)
Oh, it's just, I think, okay, I'll save you. What I'm thinking is that it has to do with our identity, you know, and because then how we show up in life has to do about knowing who we are and where our authority come from and all of it. What is the source of everything? And this applies also with the business and all the things that we are doing.
because we're not doing for, at least the goal, is not to do for validation. It's not to do for, you know, to please people. It's just to be who he created us to be. And when we put all these things aside, you know, like the comparison, the measurement of success and all those things, when we can put that aside.
Melissa Lapin (50:04.639)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Fernanda (50:13.158)
and look at why we're doing this, why you're launching the program May 1st, you know? And when you go back to the root of that.
Melissa Lapin (50:25.312)
Yeah.
Fernanda (50:26.066)
I mean, that is enough reason to show up. That is enough reason to do it and not worry about being perfect because you know what, it probably won't. Nothing is perfect the first time we do it. What a second, but it can get better. And so that's another thing that I had to, another thought I had to develop is just, it's not gonna be perfect. The coaching business that I envision.
Melissa Lapin (50:44.552)
Yeah.
Fernanda (50:56.262)
It's probably not going to happen in the first few months because it's a baby business. I'm just starting, but what I know is that he called me to do that. He equipped me. I know that I can connect people with Jesus to Jesus. I can be their facilitator. I know he gave me a vision for it.
Melissa Lapin (51:03.467)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (51:07.468)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (51:15.991)
Yeah. Well, here's the thing too. Yeah, starting out with perfection, like tackling that whole thing of perfectionism and relating it to the agriculture again. Planning you, you plant a seed and I don't know of any crop that any seed or plant that's put in the ground to grow that doesn't need tended to by pruning.
Fernanda (51:25.238)
you know how to combine life coaching with inner healing. And so there are a few things that I'm confident because is what he told me. Everything else I'm figuring out as I go, you know, as Marie Forleo says, everything is figure outable and I'm living by that quote. I can figure it out. It's not gonna be probably great the first time, but it can be bad in the second time and.
Melissa Lapin (51:46.123)
or fertilizing properly. I mean, like everything you detassle corn, you, you know, you do certain things at certain times. And so for us to think that we're going to hit a home run right out of the gate with anything we do, we are literally setting ourselves up to fail because we've set too high of a standard. I mean, you want to put in some effort. I'm gonna tell you, girl, I have sat here.
Fernanda (51:54.07)
but I know who I am.
Melissa Lapin (52:16.675)
numerous times over the last six months. Um, I think I started working with my business coach like February 1, but even before that, but the literally the last two months, I cannot tell you the number of times that I have sat here just wept because you
feeling just overwhelmed and feeling like a failure. I haven't even started anything and I've beaten myself up because I failed. Tell me how that makes sense, right? I haven't even launched anything and I'm already crying because it was a failure. And I'm like, in what world of God does that make any sense? You know? And but we do that to ourself.
Fernanda (52:45.411)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (53:10.863)
Yeah, and so.
Yeah.
Fernanda (53:17.148)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (53:18.995)
Yeah, pretty much even trying.
Fernanda (53:32.108)
Yes.
Fernanda (53:45.782)
Who doesn't? Yes, and that's the lies that we believe. We started believing those lies, you know, and that stops us from moving forward. So what I have to remind you, we're not even trying. And I have to remind myself, like, going back to who I am, I know who he created me to be. I know who I am in him, you know, and I know what I can do through him. And...
Melissa Lapin (53:48.083)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (54:00.618)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (54:13.118)
Right.
Fernanda (54:15.106)
that a lot of times is just enough to take that one step. And be okay, that's another topic. Be okay with not being okay, not being great, not being perfect. And the perfectionism is like, it's okay. I'm just learning. It's okay, this is just my first year of coaching. I have so much to learn. And just learn to rephrase those thoughts.
Melissa Lapin (54:18.474)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (54:23.079)
Yeah. And that's good. I think that's a that's a good nugget to leave people with as we wind down here that is not going to be perfect ever. I mean, I know people and you hear stories of people who speak, you know, in front of 10s of 1000s of people at conferences and things like that. And they still are terrified every time they get on the stage. You know?
Fernanda (54:44.19)
I'm not trying to believe in something that is not there. This is not like make believe or anything like this. But it's just reframing. And it's okay if it's not perfect the first time. It probably won't be.
Melissa Lapin (54:52.691)
And so doing it afraid or just doing it without being perfect needs to be normalized. I don't want to do afraid because fear is not of the Lord. So I don't like saying it doing it afraid because if that fear is still there, that's something that the enemy can grab on to. And so I'm trying to take that out of my vocabulary.
Fernanda (55:11.138)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (55:20.463)
is that I'm just gonna do it imperfectly. Yeah.
Fernanda (55:28.442)
Yeah. Yes.
Melissa Lapin (55:34.611)
Oh yeah, the men in the middle. Yeah, just so good.
Fernanda (55:41.375)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (55:44.788)
Yeah.
Fernanda (55:46.959)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (55:53.772)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Lapin (55:57.043)
Yeah, let's see if I can pull that up. Right.
Fernanda (55:58.326)
Yeah.
Yes, and that's totally okay and be okay with it. You know what, there's that quote, I'm not gonna remember it because it's a long one about the man in an arena from Roosevelt. Yeah, it's just so, who read it? Like, I don't care what the critics that are sitting around staring at me are saying. You know, it's the man that is in the arena right there with the sweat and the tears and the getting all dirty.
Melissa Lapin (56:12.787)
Yeah, it's, uh, for those who haven't heard it, it's Theodore Roosevelt. And he said, it is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the. Okay. I need to get a bigger one. Sorry. I was trying to read it off a really small picture and that's not working. Um,
Fernanda (56:30.866)
in doing the work. That's what really counts, not the critics that are just pointing fingers. That is a great quote and I often remember that when I'm, I think of that when I'm starting something new because I am being courageous. I'm stepping out.
Melissa Lapin (56:37.147)
Alright, here we go. It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds.
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Boom. I don't know the story behind that, but that's so good.
Fernanda (57:07.562)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (57:36.627)
You know, it's like the armchair quarterbacks.
Melissa Lapin (57:42.879)
I said, it's like the armchair quarterbacks. It's the guys on Sunday who sit and scream at the football, the TV and the players and all that, like they could have done a better job. You wasn't there, you don't know. Even we're gonna get all woke with it, but all the political situation, the cops and the bad guys, that cop did this and I would have done it. Bro, you probably don't even own a gun, so sit down and shut up.
Fernanda (58:06.558)
Yes, yes, that is.
Melissa Lapin (58:10.367)
Like you have, when have you ever been in a crisis, life or death situation? Bro, shut up, you know?
Fernanda (58:13.238)
Yeah, and that's the inspiration for Brene Brown's work.
What? I didn't hear you.
Melissa Lapin (58:21.339)
Uh huh.
Fernanda (58:24.311)
Yeah.
Fernanda (58:28.661)
Oh yes.
Fernanda (58:32.264)
this.
Melissa Lapin (58:32.339)
Yes.
Fernanda (58:35.758)
I'm sorry.
Fernanda (58:45.008)
Hahaha
Fernanda (58:54.986)
But this can be applied nowadays because of social media, can be applied to so many areas. Everybody's pointing fingers and criticizing our doing. So I have these two goals in life that I want to be the woman in the arena, very greatly.
Melissa Lapin (59:04.404)
I think that's why we have such a heart connection, because I think we are both very much the same in that. And we have always, you know, challenged each other to, hey, what's stopping you, as well as cheering each other, you know, we've always done that for each other. And I think that you and I both strive to have a circle of friends who does that with us.
Fernanda (59:13.234)
And I want to be the cheerleader.
for those that are in the arena. If I can do those two things, I am good. I am good. So I aim for that, you know? So I wanna cheer for those that are there, being brave and courageous. And I wanna be one of the brave and courageous. And may this be my legacy.
Melissa Lapin (59:32.535)
because I don't have people in my life that don't cheer me on.
Melissa Lapin (59:40.999)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (59:48.572)
Yeah.
Melissa Lapin (59:53.639)
Yeah, so good.
Fernanda (59:59.41)
Yes.
Melissa Lapin (59:59.671)
That's so good. What more is there? That's it. That covers everything. There is nothing on the planet that does not fall in one of those two categories.
Fernanda (01:00:08.147)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's really...
Melissa Lapin (01:00:13.279)
That is awesome.
Fernanda (01:00:15.73)
Yes, why? Why will we have people in our life that is criticizing? You know that the world out there is doing that enough. We don't need people in our closed circle doing that and And that's how I define success. That's one of my measurements of success if i'm showing up courageously and if i'm showing up for others That's
Melissa Lapin (01:00:39.103)
Yeah. And the one thing too, that just triggers me pretty quickly is, are those people, and we see it on social media all the time, that those people, and we'll just, I'll say it as nicely as I can, the people that are not living their best life, that sit around and criticize others. You know, I think that's...
Fernanda (01:00:39.366)
Yeah, that's it.
Fernanda (01:00:49.943)
Yes, and as we do this, as we show up in those both ways, we're also set an example. I really believe in setting the example without the pointing of the fingers or screaming is just it's this is how we show up and this is how we set examples, you know, for the people around us, for my kids.
Melissa Lapin (01:01:08.631)
just a horrible, dysfunctional thing for someone who could do better and choose. I don't know if they choose, but I think... Oh, hey, where'd she go?
Fernanda (01:01:15.266)
That's the matters.
Melissa Lapin (01:01:33.279)
We have a technical difficulty.
Melissa Lapin (01:01:38.624)
Are you back?
Melissa Lapin (01:01:53.431)
She is not bad.
Are you there?
Melissa Lapin (01:02:01.823)
Hello? Can you not hear me? I hear you.
Melissa Lapin (01:02:21.719)
Can you hear me?
Hello? I do hear you, yes.
Fernanda (01:02:26.801)
You hear me?
I can't hear you.
Melissa Lapin (01:02:38.707)
Yeah, you're in. You're in.
Melissa Lapin (01:03:20.823)
So let's do this, comma, just pretend everything is fine and I am going to say, give us a take away and then when I text you back in a second, just give a quick take away nugget for the people. Make sense?
Fernanda (01:03:21.262)
I don't know why I don't see you.
Melissa Lapin (01:04:21.835)
Gosh, this is all so really, really good. So what would be a takeaway or a nugget for the folks as we land this? What could be a summation encouragement for?
everything that we've talked about.
Fernanda (01:05:03.557)
So I would just say, I wanna encourage everybody out there that just be courageous, just step out and into what is in front of you, into what you wanna do towards your dreams and what God has put in your heart. And it doesn't need to be perfect. It probably won't be perfect. It just needs to be done. And just...
Partner with him in this process He will lead you Let him guide you Just define I mean decide that you can show up courageously that you can be the man in an arena and Not care for the critics out there or even the critic inside of you the lies that you are believing in
Just trust, trust in who God created you to be. Trust in what he has for you. And go for the harvest that he had put in your heart. There's so much to be done. And we just can't be just sitting around wasting our time. There's a whole, a whole trail to walk in front of us. There's a whole harvest that is waiting for us.
And when the harvest come, I just want to encourage you to look at the harvest is the fullness of what God has for you. It's not a burden. It comes with work, but that is the fullness of God. So that's what I want to leave for everybody out there. Thank you so much for having me, Melissa. I am cheering you on. Can't wait to see.
what God is going to do through you next.
Melissa Lapin (01:07:04.575)
Oh, thank you. That was good. This was a really good interview. It's like one of my favorite ones. I always love talking to you. Yeah, so thanks everyone for listening. Thank you, Fernanda, again for being here and we look forward to hanging out with all the listeners again on the next episode.
